The red roses are next

My first impression of nature

Was fearing the presence of thorns

Communicating indelicate feelings

Red roses in passionate tongue

 

To cure the diseased pink roses

Petals as illustrations of worth

Not friends from my observations

Bereft of feelings of love

 

A permanent loss of vitality

But when did they die?

When was the moment of death?

The two are not the same to me

 

Been through several wars

Now in the care of the dead

Dying will redirect you here

And the red roses are next

Reviews

[Hayley]

Once again, I'm impressed, which is a big deal :)
The "diseased pink roses" to the red roses, simply a great path of destruction in this poem. The more I think about it, the more this is open to multiple interpretations. It can be taken as a more individual standpoint, a conflict within oneself to "cure the diseased pink roses," the notion of worthlessness. Someone needs to take a risk without "fearing the presence of thorns" from the "first impression of nature." That interpretation can be applied to an aspect of love as well (such a hopeless romantic).
Or, I can view this as the slow decay of ones internal being as portrayed by the exterior. The pink roses are the few aspects of a person that are diseased; this person is slowly dying on the inside, fearing for the good or positive aspects of the personality to succumb to the conflict.
I love a poem that can make me think, analyze it over and over. Well, well, done.

[Helen Crutchett]

Very interesting write Mark D. Certainly brought my little grey cells to life. Still pondering in fact. Thank you for submitting this to my contest!

Helena

[Pratik]

This is such a multilayer-ed poem!! So many possible ways to interpret it.. the way i see it.. it's a poem about gradual unwinding of your simple beliefs, your notions. Some of these you hold close to your heart but then the world has its own twisted ways! So 'My first impression of nature' results to 'A permanent loss of vitality'.. I loved your metaphors... This is a very carefully penned down write. Well done :)

[eglantine]

... poem starts strong, first two stanzas are lovely. But then it slowly unwinds and seems forced, especially that last stanza. I can see it trying to weave altogether, but not quite there. THanks for sharing!

[Amanda J. S.]

Great poem!

[Bewitching Sensations]

Nice piece..Nice to see a male write on a female subject ;)

[Allie]

Great write, Great metaphors!

[MOON]

I love the metaphor, the way you draw the reader and the rhythym.

[S. Michael Long]

this poem sooo reminds me of a song that sarah mclachlan sang called fear.. and in that song she sings "wind in time, rapes the flower trembling on the vine, Nothing yields to shelter it" I think you can add so much more of your life and influence into this poem! its beautiful!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

This is really deep and meaningful...

definitely worth checking out and reading