A little closer

From being the weakest of little girls
She went her own way
And found happiness
On her own terms

From a distance we could all see the soft smile
That came across her grief stricken face
We all noticed the straightening of her shoulders
And how peace had filled her being
The strongest of people you could wish to know

But then she heard the voice of sorrow sobbing
A voice that ached of pain
The one she hoped to never hear again
From his dark and lonely hiding place
The creature called her name

Now from a distance no-one dares see
The pain that darkens her eyes
And her quivering lip goes unnoticed
Yesterday she had looked ten years younger
From a distance no-one saw her torment

A girl alone
Not willing to go on
Not willing to speak up

We should have looked a little closer

Reviews

[Reeti]

The consecutive incurrence of joy and grief indicated by the girl's visage is enrapturing... especially as none but the author, and thus, the readers, can detect it. The poem has been also enhanced by the rhythm of the poem (as i read it and say it aloud in my mind, i find it riveting). It explains quite like a prose, but thanks to the lovely rhyming put to it, it's framed as a wonderful poem. It is specially sad when it concludes with a lonely girl who has for such a long time, persevered blissfully, but not enough to lead a thoroughly genial and happy life.

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

This is haunting and cautionary. I really like your style and tone, its simple but so potent. You didn't need expensive words or rhymes. Thank you for the the great work

[TL Boehm]

Wise words - so often we don't pay attention until it is too late

[s y e]

Wow. I did not expect the ending at all. It’s wonderful. I love the way it has a twist to it.

[Elizabeth Kerns]

I think this is incredible. It is, by far, one of the best poems I have ever read.

[That_Girl]

Just read again... I stand by my original assessment. For sure. :)

[layla]

I love this one! so sad i can feel the pain. I enjoyed this very much. your such an amazing writer to take a complex situation and word it in a way that opens the mind and thoughts of the reader! you Sir...are the brilliant one..

[That_Girl]

The emotion that you've managed to pack into this poem is crippling. It speaks volumes. Very well done!

[Mia]

Wow. I did not expect the ending at all. It’s wonderful. I love the way it has a twist to it. This is the first poem I've read that’s unpredictable and I mean that as a compliment.
"A girl alone
Not willing to go on
Not willing to speak up
We should have looked a little closer"
The ending is great. It’s straight to the point and so effective. Once I was done reading it, my mind lingered on those last lines. I almost felt like I should have looked a little closer. You brought this to life for me.