The words I know so well

My tears ran cold
As monsters crawled up my leg
And tongued upon my knee
I started to fumble
Over the words I know so well

I embark upon the last long walk
And unfold my white flag
My coffin will have beautiful wood
To make them wonder who’s beauty lies within

My flag will be presented to my son before I go
But what will I say
To cool his aching heart?
And allow him at will
To bring me back to life?

Remember these words
In a life rich in mistakes
They are all I have learned
“You are as you decide to be”

Reviews

[eglantine]

I absolutely adore the first stanza, especially the first three lines (and even more so the first two of those three). "cool his aching heart" is also great. Like putting a cool cloth to a feverish forehead to help heal. Feverish heart... Not sure if I'm a fan of the last three stanzas... they seem too vague almost. In the second stanza, I'd replace "beautiful" when describing the wood of the coffin with the actual type of wood--mahogony? cherry? oak? white pine? So many options! Mainlhy because you then say "who's beauty lies beneath" Also, not quite sure if I like "beauty" there. Describe the speaker to us--it's the perfect opportunity! Scarred? Pale? Freshly shaven? What kind of clothes is he buried in? I want to be sad after reading this, I can feel the shadow creeping along the other side of the corner, but it's just not there yet. Thanks for sharing!

[Ama May Cooper]

I feel a little lost as to this one, a little confused as to the subject matter.
The words used are very well worked with, the flow is brilliant and its got a nice feel to its only a shame that i can't understand it to well but im sure that's just me.

[layla]

its beautiful. I love it! "my flag will be presented to my son before i go"..!!! amazing

[BIIKAY]

the last stanza is my fav!! great job!!!

[Jvonne]

“You are what you decide to be” how true.
wonderful write!

[Sleeping Maiden]

Oh, i could definately feel this poem quite well! Stunning write. It's true. It is our own choices that makes us - who we are. A very powerful and inspiring poem! ~
Thank you!

[victoria]

a most exquisite write, with a beautiful message.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Yes, we have a choice.........well done

[loading...]

beautiful

[Allie]

This one gave me chills, especially the first stanza, great imagery (scary but great).

[eglantine]

if a poem scares me, that's usually a sign it's a great poem

[Allie]

Yes, don't be sorry at all, it is a good thing that your writing can instill these emotions in a person.