I refused to pay my last respects I rejected the idea They never found my body in the morning Foundering in the aftermath Of my latest bout of self-judgement
So a new love was born At the memorial stone Just after old Gods had fallen My impassioned fan Helped me back onto the stage
The first performance that I meant The first step out of an illusion Not to exhibit a talent Just to be her mountain
I have a desire to distance myself From attracting attention From everyone else Except a fledgling lover
I've decided to play on The conclusion of the concert Is done with a smile on my face And isn't up for public debate
The 4th stanza is telling. This is what we do when we're obsessed. We close off from everybody and everything else, and present ourselves a sacrifice to someone who is often not worthy. Then we learn to wait.
Don't know if this theory fits in with the theme of the whole piece, but my mind seemed to lock on the one stanza, to the exclusion of the rest.
as how i've cottoned onto what your verse implies, i think it means that... there are hints of death and rebirth in it (mostly rebirth). The first stanza indicates the determination in the narrator as he recollects that an unexpected reappearance must be made. Like a pure thespian, his comeback must be prodigiously perceived by his 'fledgling lover'. He does not mean to marvel the spectators or whoever who encounters him, but seems to come back with a vengeance of proving himself to her of what he is capable of. I suppose the 'impassioned fan' is the 'fledgling lover' (?) Forgive me if i have horribly wrongly uncovered the true meaning of your beautiful poem. I have enjoyed your 'A desire to distance myself.' It stands out from a lot of poems. =)
I like this, it fits into the style ( I think ) of a lot of modern poems that I read on other sites, of very prose based observations away from metaphorical overkill, so I think you did very well here, good one.
I much admired the entire work - being lead, thrown off, side-swiped and taken off on some seemingly random new journey, well, I just love that. Rather that than a meander through the known fields - thank you.
Rosalind
-x-