I Told God Not To Call Me Back

I clipped my own wings

Fell through telephone wires

And He stepped over my body

As I soaked up the earth

I don’t need anything to make up for

What they say I lack

 

On the ground

 

I heard the telephone ring

Hello, I recognize that voice

But I can’t hear what he’s telling me

Over the static hum of human deeds

Long-distance relationships never work

I told God not to call me back

Author's Note

I like the aesthetics, but I don't think it shows what I was trying to get across very well. So I may have to write another poem of the same subject matter...

Reviews

[Phil Roland]

Bloody well done. It's sad. I like the possibility of the sense of regret on God's part when calling. Perhaps the narrator feels the same, but is too proud to admit it? Pride is, after all, the destroyer of angels.

I'm most likely reading too much into it. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it immensely.

[LunalitSol]

I think this is one of those poems where the more you read it, the better it gets. Particularly love the last two lines, but really the whole thing just seems too ooze intrigue. It's fairly enigmatic, definitely poetic despite lack of rhyme (who needs that?? :P ), and highly enjoyable! Thanks for this. :)

[Scott A. Williams]

Ah, to connect with something bigger than oneself... a long-distance relationship indeed. Great work.

[Charles]

Good stuff, I'll be looking at this one again.

[Molly]

I love that your poem has wings here (the shape I mean) And it's a very interesting concept. The first line really grabbed my attention and the rest of the poem kept hold of it. Perhaps you don't go into great detail and explain everything you mean, but you say enough to suggest and make your reader think, which I personally prefer in poetry. Great poem!

[Deepshikha]

You did get your point across, though it's shrouded in poetry. In my opinion, the last stanza is the best. I feel the first is a little confusing, but that just might be me. (I am like, dead.)
The line "Long-distance relationships never work" sealed the deal for me, and I think you've really done justice to how I was feeling, and still feel from time to time.