My collision with purpose

A soliloquy on living out your purpose. It can not be avoided, it is to be toiled with, collided with, worn like a cloak, not to be discarded...

"What will I do with the rest of my life?" I asked when we said goodbye. It felt as if my world had unraveled between photographing the project and getting on the plane destined for home; the once familiar place that suddenly seemed foreign. 

This was not at all about emotion, or about relationship, this was about purpose.

It has been wired into human DNA to live with purpose. Anything less leaves us wanting, searching, seeking, abusing, obsessing and empty. That ever present discontent is a longing to live out our God given purpose. Anything less leaves us with the gnawing feeling that there has to be more to life.  Once you've tasted living out your purpose, how will you regain a taste for mediocrity? Surely you cannot? 

Alas, purpose can not be avoided, it is to be toiled with, collided with, worn like a cloak, not to be discarded. It rests heavily on your shoulders, but it envelops you in comfort, in peace. Anything less is a fabrication of the truth. 

The project in question was a Corporate Social Initiative aimed at building schools and teaching centers in Malawi, a desperately impoverished country. My photographs will be used to prompt corporate staff to raise money for these projects. It is worth noting that Malawians lack the overall sense of entitlement that is so prevalent in South Africa. They have very little, yet you won't find them begging. My heart was stirred by their warmth. I once again felt like my work was making a difference, impacting those in need, those without a voice, who cannot stand up for themselves. This was their chance to be heard. 

There is so much talent buried under poverty. So much potential goes to waste because of lack of resources. When I look into the children's eyes, I see hope, curiosity, intelligence.  Something has to change, they have to be given a future, indeed they are being given the best future possible with this project. Its essence is making something out of nothing, building a future that would previously have been unthinkable. This is what I was a part of, this is the purpose I lived out, this is what I feel I'm leaving behind. Is it any wonder I'm feeling a little melancholy?

As this was not my first foray into this kind of project, I was prepared for the onslaught of emotions that would inevitably follow disembarkation. I dread suburbia, I dread the process of reintegrating into society, blending in, becoming one of the herd again. I am averse to our culture, the vanity of it all, grasping for the wind. It is all so meaningless, yet it is the culture I'm entrenched in, entrapped like quicksand until the time will come when my deep desire to make a difference, to use my talents for God's glory will be realised. Until then, brief moments of respite from the ordinary will have to provide a glimpse into that which is possible, yet only by the grace of God.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' This was not at all about emotion, or about relationship, this was about purpose.'

Yet, I found and feel emotion in this!

This is the first of four (of your) posts that's made me pause and read, then - read again. Your other posts, though interesting, supberly written and certainly worthy of publishing.. were more Article than Story. Sadly maybe, am a disgracefully emotional person who needs to feel a ticking heart in the written (story) word. And, dear goodness, i found it wrapped in this post!

Seems that the giving of gifts to others is a deep need in your make.up, that transcribing other's gifts into a worthy future is an essential for you.
i've nothing by admiration for that, plus the fact that you felt more of yourself than once did.

This is what I was a part of, this is the purpose I lived out, this is what I feel I'm leaving behind. Is it any wonder I'm feeling a little melancholy? ' By way of both physical action and its emotional aftermath perhaps a dormant part of you has been brought to life. Whether it was of God's calling or your own heart-touched need, i truly don't know.. perhaps both..but, what- or whichever certainly you've discovered: ' .. a glimpse into that which is possible, has resulted in a superb piece of writing. Please forgive my meandering

(Had to return to correct typos i only noticed as i was leaving.. so sorry. )

[Marinda Van Zyl]

Thank you, I really appreciate your feedback and I'm humbled that you were touched by it. Your kind words mean so much!

[SleeplessVolcano]

We often need to be taken out of our comfort zones......to see how others survive on virtually nothing.

Thoughtful piece - how about turning it into a poem? :)

[Marinda Van Zyl]

We do indeed. I'm not much of a poet, I'm afraid. I do enjoy this kind of writing though, so I'll definitely try to add more pieces.

[SleeplessVolcano]

Or, alternatively, link up with a poet from Malawi....poetry can often break down walls - be used, within reason, as a marketing tool, so that the emotional message it contains can eventually help those who need it most......

[Ken Simm.]

A superb essay on experience. And those things that teach us. Although I gained my experience in other ways; I find I can empathise with an awful lot of this. Dreading suburbia for example. Needing to do something. Excellent work.

[Marinda Van Zyl]

Thank you, I appreciate it!

[Pete]

this is most excellent. very thought provoking, creative. emotion enters in as heartfelt, philosophical honesty is explored.

reminded me of some quotes from my favorite writer Thoreau:

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

nice job .

[Marinda Van Zyl]

I love those quotes! Thank you so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it!

[midniterider]

wonderfully written story,loved the raw image

[Marinda Van Zyl]

Thank you so much!

[midniterider]

you`re welcome