Lonely

A common catchy song is playing
Over the speaker at my favorite bar
Blinking gambling machines
A sticky floor
The smell of stale beer and the river
A drunk bartender
I take a sip of my drink
Strong and rough
Feel the warmth of it
Going down my throat
Into my empty and fluttering stomach
Making my face numb
Speech slower by the minute
Sitting with my friends
I fake a laugh at some stupid joke
That I wasn’t really listening to
Because I don’t like anyone here
But this place is better
Than my quiet room
Laying around thinking
About things that don’t feel good
I always find a way
To feel lonely in a crowded room
But I don’t think I’d feel alone
If you were here
My hand in yours
Tracing my fingers with your thumb
I take another drink
And another