Water

My mouth is so dry
Water
Next to the bed on the floor
Bottle crinkling
Chugging
Stomach churning
Sweating violently
I shower
Try to wash off the gross feeling
That has taken over my body
I once heard that drinking alcohol
Is like borrowing the next days happiness
And using it all at once
But what about when there’s none
to begin with?
And the buzz you catch
Is the happiest you can feel
And you do it to yourself over and over
Day after day
Making yourself sick
Just to feel that feeling of joy
For just a few hours
Shaking, I think that maybe you’ll be enough
To stop my cycle of harm
Because I don’t need to be wasted
To be so happy with you
I catch myself laughing
Without the liquid help
Don’t leave
My mouth is so dry