Monologue

Unfolding random thoughts on a Friday night. Also, I'm back.

I'm sitting still, trying to connect to my inner voice, but the b*****d must be sleeping, because all I hear is silence. The f*****g cat started knocking s**t off my table again. Perhaps I should ask it to knock harder, see if my inner voice wakes up. This bottle of wine doesn't seem to end, did I become a lame drinker, that's it? Christ, the humiliation. 

This f*****g building is so poorly soundproof, I can hear the elevator every single time someone uses it. It feels like there are no walls.

That's great, a spider just got in from the window, which I had to leave open, because the house is so bloody warm in here that makes my head heavy. F**k you, central heating. 

I think that someone needs to change and finetune life's settings. Like, right about now I would really like it if I giant hand appeared out of thin air, swooping me up and taking me to trip around the world, showing me what's what. 

How many people, at this exact moment are feeling boredom? Or how many of them feel alone? Wow, this thought reeks of privilege. 

"Nothing changes, if nothing changes", that's what just came to mind. Sometimes, in utter silence, I swear I can hear the sound of existence. Cracking and fidgeting, it makes eerie sounds, like the leaves on a misty road. It's unsettling. 

Yet, despite all the quietness, or my inner voice's utter failure to be summoned, I know that these moments will be appreciated, once the timeline has changed. It's something I have to experience now, in order for it to complete its purpose later on. 

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Or I could just say that I was bored.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

When we are bored. The mind can go loco. The mind wander to wild places and thoughts. I did like the story. You allowed the reader to feel the walls carving in. Thank you Marina for sharing the interesting tale.
Coyote

[Marina]

Thank you, I wasn't sure how it would turn out to the reader, I mean I felt it would be quite miserable to read it but perhaps it's not that bad.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was just a dance of words. You did well and you are welcome Marina.

[Paul Bell]

Always dodgy having conversations with yourself, especially if you hear answers.
Though in saying that, insanity does get you out of awkward situations at times, so definitely comes in handy. Now use that bottle of wine to kill the spider, cos spiders have eight legs of protein.

[Marina]

I don't kill spiders, they are keep the house free of other insects. Loved the protein part though.

[Paul Bell]

Had this bright idea of going vegetarian for January.
Swear to God, if I had just cut up cardboard and put vinegar on it, it would taste better.

[Marina]

Well, you'll be delighted to know I've changed my diet and it resembles more of a vegan one. Not 100% though

[Paul Bell]

In a few days time I'm going out to throttle a buffalo.
Going back to the caveman diet.

[Marina]

You will find me protesting with posters.

[Paul Bell]

Put vinegar on that poster and I'm eating it.

[Franky]

There is a ton of truth here. It's incredible how lovely people really are. A good monologue.

[Marina]

We are lovely when we are lonely!

[Franky]

I meant lonely. Sorry.