One

First CHapter

November twenty-third was the day that said wether I would live or die. Wether I turn or stay. Wether I win or loose. November twenty third would be the day my life depends on. It holds my future or my end and I can't say which one. Can anyone really. All of us have a fifty fifty chance or surviving. All of us have a chance to win. To kill of what's inside of everyone of us or at least scare it away for a while. I'm afraid these days may be my last. I doubt I'll stay alive. I'm not strong enough depsite how much I've been thaught about it or how many ways I've been taught to defeat it. But it's not what it's all about, not all about what you've been taught. You need to be strong. Not just physically but mentally.

There's three days before its my turn. All I can think about is that day. I won't make it, I tell myself but I have to. I have to survive, I can't die. This can't be my fate. I try convince myself. But there's always a voice in the back of my head laughing at me, telling me I'm crazy. I could never make it. No matter how many times I told it shut up it wouldn't stop talking.

"Zaria. Pay attention please. This is valuable information for your if you survival." I nodded as tired if hearing the same thing. I'm sure it wasn't going to helpful or just mildly helpful. I rested my head in the palm of my hands and tried to pay attention as Mr.Wonk talk on about how tricker is a good way to kill it. I zoned out pretty quickly again. There's nothing now that could keep me concentrated.

I have heard of those who give up on life and just let it take over and turn them, they let their monsters win. Some people who won go insane afterwards from what they have seen and what happen. Others fight to stay alive and either win or loose. I don't know which one I'll be.

Sometimes I think maybe I should just give up. I have to think of my mother and father and my best friend. But what if I won and then my best friend lost. It would kill me if he were gone. He's the only person but my parents you I actually care about and who cares about me. Or what if it were the other way around.

I've always wondered what it would be like to transform. If it were to be painful, if it would tickle or just simply painless. I always imagined it to be painful. The monster infecting your brain. I could see a black shadow creasing the brain turning it black. Then forcing away your soul to make room for itself. Pushing away all of your thoughts, emotions and existence. I see a girl grabbing at her head screaming, her eyes squeezed shut. Then she opened her eyes and everything was black. No iris, no pupil no white if the eye. Just all black. That was my biggest fear. Ending up like the girl in my imagination.

The dull bell rang and everyone in the class stood up slowly. No one was smiling. Everyone was depressed. They all knew what would happen in less then three days. They know it could be the end. All of them have lost friends and family to this. They all know theres a fifty percent chance of surviving. Most of them will think that they won't make it.

Something hit me in the back of the head. I turned around to see Ace walking towards me. His blonde hair falling over his eyes. He pushed his butterskotch blonde hair the side of his face revealing his emerald green eyes looking at me. Ace smiled at me.

"So how was class?" Ace asked.

"Like slowly being eaten by toothless piranha's. I can't stop thinking about it." I said.

"Zari, don't worry about it. You'll get through it. We both will. We can make it through, we'll be alright. I swear." Ace said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"But what of we don't." I said.

I coud feel myself welling up inside. I couldn't cry, I need to stay strong. But I couldn't imagine life without Ace and I couldn't imagine myself without a soul. Nothing left of me but my body. I could feel a tear threatening to fall from my face but I forced it back. Ace stepped infront of me, both his hands on my shoulders. He looked me in the eyes and said "I will not let that happen. I know you're strong enough to get through it. You have to believe me."

I nodded causing my rich chocolate brown hair to fall into my face. Ace lifted one of his hand and brushed my hair out of my face and then he turned bright red and I could feel my cheeks heating up. We looked at each other awkwardly for a second before I looked away.

"Come on." Ace said passing the moment. "I have to show you something."

Ace grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward narrowly dodging other people in the building. I nearly tripped at least fifty times before he got out of the building. He dragged me into the building on the other side of the street. I somehow managed to stay on my feet as he pulled me up a couple flights of stairs. He opened a dull door at the top of all the stairs that opened onto the roof. He stepped onto the concert floor of the roof and lead me to the edge of the roof and sat down his legs dangling over the edge. I sat down next to him. We were both out of breath trying hard to get it back. I looked out at the view. It was beautiful. We were on one of the tallest buildings here. I could see the other buildings around us. Most of them shorter then the one Ace and I were sitting on. The sun was quite high in the sky and the sky was spotted with white puffy clouds. I could see people at the bottom walking along the road.

"This is where we'll meet." Ace said leaning back on his hands and closing his eye and letting sun shine on his face. I looked at him confused and he turned to face me.

"I mean after we go through the test. When we both make it through." He said and smiled.

He was so hopeful. So sure of himself. So sure of me. That's what I love about him. It was refreshing to have someone who doesn't spend their every hour worrying about turning into a monster. He was the sunshine after the rain. I was the rain. I don't get how he puts up with me.

We sat there staring out at the view. I saw Ace glancing at me occasionally but I ignored it. We sat there for a good 10 minutes before my phone started ringing. I ignored it for a while then decided to answer the phone because my mother would probably think I killed myself if I didn't.

All parents know their child will most likely go through a stage of depression. Thoughts of death or even the will to kill themselves a couple weeks before the test. I couldn't blame them. I was there with them in all this. I wouldn't kill myself though. There is still a small strong of hope and courage in the back of my mind. 'You know you're not strong enough. Give up. Jump.' said a voice in the back of my head. The voice was mine but slightly darker with a ruder and meaner tone to it. I was going to tell it to shut up but it ignored it answering the phone.

"Hi Mom." I said.

"A roof!!!" She yelled through the phone so loudly I had to hold it away from my eat. "Get down immediately. Don't you dare jump. You..."

Ace could hear her yelling through the phone and took it from my hand. "Hello Mrs. Knight, it's Ace. Don't worry I'd never let her jump of the roof. Trust me." He said reassuring my mother.

"Of course I do sweetheart." She said calming down realizing I was with someone. "Just have her back by six."

And then she hung up the phone.

Ace handed me the phone and smiled and I smiled back apologetically and took the phone putting it back into my jacket. We turned back to looking out at the view.

"Have you ever thought about what happens after." I asked.

"No." Ace answered shortly. "I live life as it is. I think as little as possible. I don't control life. I let it control me. It's more exciting that way. You never know what happens next. I like it better that way."

"What about us then. Don't you even see us still being friends." I asked.

Ace was silent for a while which worried me. Did he not see us as friends later? Or did he just get a random speech impediment. Maybe he didn't hear me. He turned to look at me and I looked back him. We sat very close to each other so I could see every feature of his face. The defined jawbone, the slightly arced darker eyebrows, the light flecks of green in him emerald ones. The small part of his brith mark close to his ear. His red lips pressed together. Then he opened his mouth.

"I always think of us. Of course we will alway be friends. I will always be there for you. I promise." He said. It seemed like he was going to say something else but he didn't. I looked at him. There was something the way he looked at me that was foreign to me. I decided to ignore it. But he kept looking at me. It was making me slightly uncomfortable.

I turned back to the view. A second later I closed my eyes and laid back on the roof. I opened my eyes looking up at the blue sky stretching it's way across the world. The clouds shifted into a variety shapes. I stared at one of the clouds. As it floated across the sky it shifted into the shape of a bunny then twisted its way into a horse then turned into the face of a man with a very long twisty chin and a large nose and lopsided circles for eyes. I let out a small laugh and pointed at it. "Look." I said almost the way a small child would. Ace lay next to me and looked up at the sky and laughed.

"Look at that one." I said pointing at the one of the clouds shaped like a flower that was slightly spotted with blue from where the clouds didn't quite meet and the sky peaked through. It had curves and a circular middle.

"It's so pretty." I said.

"Yeah." Ace breathed out. "Almost as pretty as you." He finished almost in a whisper. My head whipped to the side to look at him. Then I figured I heard him wrong and looked up at the sky again. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest slightly faster and harder then it did before and burning slightly. It was a strange feeling. Something I haven't really felt before. 'You know what it is.' The voice in my head said. 'It's me eating at your heart and soul.' I wanted to scream. I hated that voice but I ignored like I've doing my whole life. It sucks.