Juxtaposition

I'm not sure what I am supposed to be filling these lines with
What do I write down that will help ease the noise in mind?
What are the right words to express the tension?
The yearning?
The loss?
The acceptance of a past forever gone?
I wish I could write one poem that would encapsulate all I feel
But when I sit with this paper and pen all I get is overwhelming grief
And a sense of failure
I would tell you all my secrets, paper
If it wasn't that you could so easily betray me
Talking about something makes it real
Writing it down gives it proof
Truth be told I don't want any proof of the things I've done
One day all my sins will be exposed,
On that day I will be washed clean
But only by the blood of all those I have hurt
And oh, the number I have hurt
I hurt.