A Contrary Outlook

The criteria for what this is should probably be other so I chose story.

So I just want to share my opinion about something I feel.

People say the days of old are gone. The days where men provided for women and created families that they helped nurture by working and providing a stable home. People say times have changed and our society dictates that there are two parents working in most homes or parents are raising children without the help of the other parent. While this may be true, society and it's demands aren't necessarily the best. Woman was created from man's rib (according to what I believe as a Christian, you may disagree) and therefore she is meant to be tucked beneath man's arm, protected and provided for. While I am all for the independence of our women, I do believe that it is not in the natural order for women to be providers for a family. A man is naturally a provider and a woman a nurturer. To have women being forced to provide for her children without a father in the home leaves children out of balance. I believe it takes a man to show and teach a boy certain things. Don't get me wrong, there are many men that have been raised by single women who turn into good, respectful, successful, men, but if you were to ask any of them if they ever wished their fathers were around, I'm willing to bet they would say yes. Girls are also affected. Good fathers are able to teach their daughters that they have value, that boys who care will wait for her to be ready to take the next step. A loving father to a daughter is like a God send. He becomes the basis of what she looks for in a man. It's not just children who are affected; it is the women as well.

For a woman to be taken out of her natural position as a nurturer and be forced into the role of both nurturer and provider can easily change the way she views relationships, men, herself, and life. While it will make her a stronger woman inevitably, the stress and the emotional changes she will endure will change her. Men say they want a strong woman. While that is admirable, men must understand that certain kinds of strength are born of struggle and he would be remiss in thinking she would be the same as a woman who hasn't experienced these kinds of struggles. Most men I have asked agree that they like to feel needed, like to be the "man" of the house. Still, they want to choose strong, independent women who generally tend to think that having a partner is secondary to gaining financial freedom. Men need to decide if they want a woman who is dependent or independent and then act accordingly. If they want to be needed, they must be willing to provide for those needs. If they want a woman to be independent, they must be willing to step out of their own natural position as provider. Women are not blameless here either. We are supposed to take the time to know who our partners are before creating families with them. We have a responsibility to know the desires of our partners, what they want, and what they accept. As women, we also need to decide what is acceptable to us in terms of men. All the while, children are being born into broken families.

 In this country-I speak only of my country, the U.S.- men can divorce or leave the mother of his children, abandon said children, and be given the proverbial "get out of jail free" card in the form of child support. He may or may not pay the payments, but he is free to then be single and unattached. He can choose another woman, make another family, and forget about the children he previously brought into existence with little or no repercussion until the children become adults. It is only then that men may or may not regret their lack of presence in the lives of their children. One thing is for certain; children will not become adults and say that a payment through the mail was sufficient parenting. Men should not be given credit for being a good father just because he pays child support.  This is what society has deemed fair to our children and their mothers. While I understand some relationships do not work out, why is it the mother's sole responsibility to raise the children they have in common? Because she carried those children in her womb and should naturally want to keep them? Because it is a woman's "job" to care for her children? This brings me back to my point. If it a woman's job to care for and raise children, why is it then her job to provide for all of their needs? What is the man's job then?

This idea of a new way of thinking is being intermingled with expectations of women from days past. Something needs to change. With divorce rates steadily rising, men looking for women to take care of them, women screaming "I don't need a man," and children lost in translation, it's almost a guarantee that future generations of people will be more confused than the generations before them. 

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[Mari K]

Whatever you feel, you are more than welcome to share your opinion. I consider myself open minded and non judgmental so don't feel like your opinion will not be valued. I am more than willing to entertain what you think as long as it is said in a respectful manner.