Part 4

Doing a rough copy

For me this was amazing I was at college everyday then working on a weekend I had never felt so free. Everything still continued the same he still raped me just not as often he knew I wouldn’t tell I hadn’t for so many years so why would I.

Working gave me a sense of accomplishment. Independence and there I felt like a different person. They didn’t know anything about me I became more confident. Until my first kind of breakdown happened. I got up one Monday morning and just thought iv had enough and with that I packed a few things in a bag.

I went to the train station without a clue what I was doing or where I was going My glared at the ticket machine And ended up getting a one way ticket to York. I don’t remember what I was thinking or how I was feeling because I don’t think I was feeling of thinking anything at all everything was a big mess. When I got to York I turned my phone off because I was getting messages and calls from my mum and also from college asking where I was I just walked around aimlessly. The first night I went and bought 2 burgers I was ok for money as i had just been paid by work and college. I gave one to a homeless guy I had walked past numerous times. The darker it got the colder it became I kept stopping and sitting at bus stops anywhere I could grabbed a few ten minutes here and there sleeping on benches but most of that first night was spent walking around. The next few days were mainly spent the same.
That was until around the 3rd night I was exhausted and walking was becoming more painful due to blisters. That night I spent most of the night sat at a bus stop opposite a night club just watching partygoers going in and out. It got to about 2 am and a guy and girl came over to the bus stop and was chatting while they waited for a taxi they began asking me questions about what I was doing so I told them which was I had no idea. They offered for me to go to were they were staying for the night every single ounce of common sense said no but it was yes that came out and that was that off we went I had a shower and a sleep then the next day they dropped me back off. I know anything could have happened but in the mind-set I was in thinking rational wasmt a priority to me.
That was until the 5th night I had it in my head that in the morning I would go back home. Another night of walking around with my feet bleeding. This time as I was walking I felt different like I was feeling more understanding more. Everything was becoming less blurry . This night I was scared. I was jumpy every noise I jumped at every person I was wary of I knew I was being silly. I saw someone walk past me someone I thought I had seen multiple times but thought nothing of it as it was dark hard to tell. But then I saw him again behind me.

Author's Note

Rough copy