Unending Love Of Jesus

A Story by Maria.F.T

In July 2007, I entered grade four. I entered grade four without my best friend, she went away from my town, Bekasi. At that time, I was being shocked of her departure, then I was sick and didn't join the class. I kept on vomiting every time my mom feed me, day by day it was getting worse, in fact, I became hard to breathe, whenever I moved my hand, it was so painful like it was full of shard that stuck me, I also could not move my feet just like I was paralyzed, not only those, I even could not touch my head, when I touched my head, it felt like someone hit my head. These things was going for one month and I didn't join the school for one month.

During that one month, I had a very scary journey where I noticed that I had been making myself as God even more than Him. I always thought that I lived because of myself, I thought that I was the greatest and the most perfect one. I was always mad when I saw people were praying to Jesus and praising Him, I hated Jesus so much till I had a thought to kill Him. I did many silly and stupid things that I made my own religion which no one knew, I didn't want to sing for God or even just to say His name I didn't want, and again, no one knew about it because I acted like I was holy and really involved to God, but probably my mom noticed that.

I lost my spirit to study at that time till I didn't want to go to school and I also didn't want my illness be cured, so that illness kept on taking place. The doctor said I was okay already, it was just a disease to my muscles, but I kept on feeling the pain and I felt I could not study at school. Then many people from the church came to my house to pray for me, but as I've said, I didn't like to see the people who prayed to Jesus, I felt I wanted to kill them one by one. I went to church to show my styles instead of praying, I didn't want to sing any gospel songs.

In one night, because of my illness hadn't been cured, my dad called some people from the alternative medication service to my house, they were Muslims. When they arrived at my house, my dad immediately called me to sit in front of them, then I sat in front of them. They started praying when I sat in front of them, and they started the medication, they asked my to stare at their horrible eyes. I kept on crying at that time, I didn't know whether they were using a mystical way or the way of their religion but I was really afraid. I directly escaped to my bedroom and didn't want to get out of there, then after talking with my dad, they went home.

Although my parents had tried to find many ways of medication, even I was hospitalized for three days, but still my illness was not cured. My parents thought that I had to gain knowledge and education, then whether like it or not, I had to study at school. When I was just arrived at school, my friends welcomed me with their happy faces because they had missed me a lot. I brought my oxygen tube to school for I was still hard to breathe, my homeroom teacher also welcomed me happily. When I joined the class, I was really dull, I always had problems and therefore I was known as a low-class girl.

Slowly, my illness was getting better and finally I was cured. After I was cured, I joined the class without being absent, after one semester, I received my report card, and it was really bad, I failed in about four subjects, my parents were really surprised. One day, my grandma was being hospitalized, then all of her children and grandchildren were there. I came to the hospital and met all of the members in my family, I also met my cousins. I talked with my cousins about school, they told me that they ranked the high rankings and they could speak in English, it was only me who could not speak in English and didn't rank any ranking, I was really hurt to know that though my teacher said that there was an improvement from me.

On one Saturday, my mom brought me to the church to accompany her to join the intercessory prayer with her friends. At the church, there were one little boy and one little girl, we were playing together and had fun together outside the church while our mommies were praying as that could help me to get away from the sound of prayer. Right five minutes before the prayer was finish, we entered the church and waited for our mommies. As the prayer was finished, suddenly my mom's friend asked that little girl whether was it true that she saw Jesus or not while they were praying, probably because God told them about that girl, then it was true that she saw Jesus.

We all then prayed together, and each of us the little children got an anointing from God and I didn't care about that. When the prayer was finish, that girl grabbed my hand and she talked to me, I said "What's up ?" with an annoying voice, and she told me everything that God told her. She told me that Jesus really loves me, Jesus said that I was His beloved child and He didn't want to lose me because he loved me so much, that was what Jesus told to that girl. When the girl told me about that, I was really touched and it was like something bitter and hurting had just got out of my heart and spirit. In the night of that day, I kept on thinking about Jesus, then finally I gave up and I prayed to Him. While I was praying, I really could feel that His hand touched my heart, and since then I loved Jesus very much ad I promised myself that I would not leave Him anymore.

When my grade four is finished, I received my report card. One day before the distribution of the report card, I was really afraid to stay in grade four again. I prayed to Jesus, I didn't stop praying. On the following day, I received my report card, and I was surprised that I was promoted to the next level, I was really happy and I knew that it was a gift from God. My teacher and my parents even was shocked and amazed, I really could not describe my feeling at that time, I was so happy.

After a year later, I entered my grade six, at that time, I was still known as a dull girl. Nobody liked me and I was being humiliated, I had only a few friends who loved me, they supported me a lot. Once I heard a news about Michael Jackson that he died, and day by day, I saw his concerts, I heard his songs, and when I heard his song, it was like he convinced me to understand every single word in his songs, since then I was interested to learn English. I said to God every night that I wanted to be able to speak in English, and as the days passed through, Jesus answered my prayer.

I became really serious in learning English, as I was really blind about English, I had to memorize all vocabularies in the dictionary. Slowly, I became fluent in English, even with the accent, but it seemed that my friends didn't like it and they always laughed at me every time I spoke in English, I kept on going and I closed my ears about them. Since then, my parents decided to send me to a national plus school near my house for my High School. Then I took the entrance test, I felt really nervous. I really remember the hardest part was Science, I took a very long time for the test till my mom was mad at me.

A few days later, I got the information that I should take the remedial. Then on the next day, I went back to that school to take the remedial. After I had finished, I went home. Right on the following day, I got the information that I failed again and they say that there was no more chance for me, but my mom decided to ask them to give me one more chance. I did the test again, but then I failed again, they really closed the chance for me, but still my mom persuaded them to give me one more chance and they allowed me to take one more chance and they told me to join the preparing class to study at that school. When I joined the preparing class every Saturday, the parents of my friends who studied at the same elementary school with me talked about the bad things about me, they laughed at me and said that I was not a clever girl. I really gave up at that time, I put my hands up, I just surrendered everything into God's hands, I prayed to Him every night and I asked Him to lead the way.

When I wanted to take the last test, I had felt really afraid and I said to Jesus that I didn't want to take that chance, I had given up, but Jesus had the different way, He let me take the last chance. When I arrived at the school, suddenly the principal of that school came, and the more I was afraid when he came. Then he asked "What's going on here ?", and the receptionist answered "This girl will take her last chance for her entrance test, Sir.", and suddenly the principal forbade them to give me that test. He asked me to sit down, and he asked several questions in English to me and I was able to answered him. After he asked me those several questions, he raised his thumbs and he said that I was the best girl that he had found, then I was accepted at that school, and I got the discount for the entrance payment. I really thanked God of what He had done to me. I also believed that He put me at that school because He had a great plan, and it was true.

Jesus has really blessed me, He has proved is great plan to me, I then ranked the fifth ranking when I was in grade seven, and I am known until now as one of the best English girl at that school, I always gain ranking until now I am in grade eight. Not only that, Jesus also always touches me with His love, especially after the baptism of the water that I've done, I really can feel His love, and this testimony is one of the prove that Jesus really loves me, His love is an unending love in my life though I sometimes hurt His heart.