Clown Mark Down

“It’s all about the Art
the art of marking down…
no naughty kids upon that list!”
said the Head Elf Assclown,

“Eighty Five for you, kiddo,
You can’t even spell!
and besides, your attempts at metaphors
stink to high hell!”

“Sixty Five for you, my boy
and a note sent home to Mother
you don’t live where I come from
and you’re certainly the wrong colour!”

“Fifty eight for you, poor girl
Your words leave me scratching my head
I am not sure what your verse is doing
but it certainly fell out of bed!”

“But aha, aha! This lad, this lad!
You are the chosen one!
One hundred, One hundred it shall be
here’s even one hundred and one!”

“Stay true to what you write, dear boy
It’s the wisdom from St. Nick
(just don’t get caught sneakily marking down
or you’ll look like a f*****g dick!)

"For we can't have any naughty kids
On Santa's sacred poetry list
Or my a*s will surely be kicked and blocked
And Santa will be sorely pissed!"

Author's Note

This poem received three Golden Sausages at an Italian Gay Festival! 😋

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

it's a fun little twist on the christmas tale. i like its cheekiness and satire.

[Davidgeo]

Clever, oh you are clever. In a crass way that is hard to come by.

[Miss Marlette]

Thank you, kindly :)

[Davidgeo]

Sorry for not giving you a technical review. I find those to be pandering for attention and full of "i wanna sound intelligent" s**t. I don't want your style to change. I think it already works quite well. Keep doing what your doing.

[Miss Marlette]

I liked this review. No worries. And yes, I enjoy doing what I do so teehee expect more from where this comes. Happy New Year DavD.

[MarthaKlokke]

My word! Golden sausages! Italians are having all the fun! Whoever this clown, must running for cover. Sneaky bug*ur huh. You go Marletta.

[Miss Marlette]

Well thanks.

[Umar Aziz]

I here a lot of cacophony here! Order order! Wats happening here! Order Order!!! Only I can mark anyone down! Catch the culprit at once and put a stop to it at once! I'm the authority!

[Miss Marlette]

Thank you your honor.

[Anastasia]

Hee Hee Hee some crow s**t fell in my tea. Laughing my a*s off Marlette. This proves you're the funniest bich around. We love to watch you in action. My scones are baking hot! Bring on the strawberry jam. Pass me the ham! Ooooh

[Miss Marlette]

Thank you muchly.

[Rania M]

Sounds pathetic whoever this is. Keep away from their likes hon.

[Miss Marlette]

Will do. Thanks.

[Jaffer]

Well well. I sense you caught a fish here Marlette. Who were you aiming at? Another clown out and about? Some bandy legged sly old coot? Love it gal 💕

[Miss Marlette]

Thank you.

[ZeppoZealand]

I always stay true to my writing but unfortunately I still can't get it on and end up sounding so lame. Please help.

[Miss Marlette]

Thank you. Keep writing. It'll work.

[Sapphus]

Congratulations on another international hit Marlette. Where were you??

[Miss Marlette]

Around here. Thanks.