Illustratio

This was the very first serious piece I wrote.

I awoke. 
My eyes---swollen, red, and tired---stared up blankly at the ceiling. 

That was the day.  
The “Day of Judgment,” I had called it. 
What would they tell him? 
What was to become of me? 
What vulgar language of wrath and torment would they use against me? 
What parts of my reckless past, stained pitch black with arrogance and rebellion, would they reveal to him? 
What cruel, profane derisions would they use to degrade me? 

“S**t!” 

“W***e!” 

“Useless!” 

“Stupid!” 

More importantly…how would HE take it? 
How would he begin to comprehend that a person he had so fondly called his beloved was nothing more than a useless, worthless, and insignificant pile of rubble? 
The possibilities terrified me. 


What was he to think of me? 
Would he walk away from me? 
How is he to handle this? 
Would he begin see me as they saw me?  


My heart raced, and my stomach turned. 
The questions lingered in my head, dragging me into further torment. 
I was drowning in my own anxiety. 
But what could I do? 


This was my doing. 
This was my fault. 
This, I must account for. 
For this, I must suffer the consequences. 



I was left without a choice, but to wait another day 
For the final verdict. 
What was to become of me, I did not know. 



I tossed and I turned.  
Fatigued as I was from the sleepless nights, I could not rest. 
It was as if even my own mind had decided to punish me by forbidding me to do so. 
The agony was in the waiting. 


I had gathered all the strength that I had left within me to face him the following day. 
I was ready for the pain.  
I was ready for his rage. 
I was ready for my humiliation. 


All preparations turned out to be in vain. 


The level of understanding he gave me was foreign. 
Not once in the past was such a virtue so lovingly bestowed upon me. 
The kindness and compassion in his eyes as he looked into my soul; as each dark and troubled aspect of my worthless existence was laid down before him, left me in awe. 
All eloquence in my system had, in an instant, abandoned me. 

The fear of judgment and desolation that once swallowed me up during such times of torment as this seemed to dissolve into the formerly grave atmosphere. 

His love, unconditional and never ending, I so frequently thought I did not deserve. 
In that moment, that exhibition of his love and kindness, I was enlightened. 
Awakened in me, was an ardent yearning for self-reform. 
I longed to finally bring my life back to its rightful state; back to how it should be. 

In the dark,  I lived no more,  
And into the Light, I returned at last.

Reviews

[Nigel Newman]

Mari Hi. I can see why you mentioned a teacher's comment about your writing skill, and I would add at telling engaging stories.

I'm not sure how to define 'poem', it doesn't particularly matter. But fyi I read this more as prose than a 'poem'.

What I like about your style, in both works so far, is that I'm engaged but it doesn't seem to be through the use of similes or metaphors or overtly lyrical phrasing, and that's what intrigues me. You have a way of describing, is all I can say, I think.

The 'poem' itself is quite clever as it leaves the reader to decide for themselves who 'he' is. It could be a man or some sort of God-figure whose judgement you fear. With a few tweaks it could even be a child, perhaps being told of an adult's misdemeanours. And what were these heinous sins? Again, you leave it to the reader to imagine. I love making the reader work a bit, so this gets a bravo from me!

BRs Nigel

[Mari Baptiste]

Hello, Nigel! I'm very glad that you found it engaging. I agree with you about it being "more prose than poem." I actually wasn't sure what to call it for the longest time. I intended it to be a form of spoken word. Thank you for the review. Much appreciated and very helpful! Will be writing more soon. :)
-Mari

[barleygirl]

You do a great job here of building up a dreadful anticipation of how this narrator will be received by some "he" that she clearly cares about, someone who's opinion is important to her. The whole time, a reader is wondering who this "he" could be? At times it seems she puts too much emphasis on how "he" will react, rather than being more concerned with her own responses to the situation. But sadly, this is how many people are, worrying about others reactions instead of having a knowingness deep inside to draw from. So, your ending is a superb twist, as we discover all these worries were for naught. This "he" must be an awesome friend or maybe a spiritual entity for her life. In any case, this ending is how I believe God is toward all of us and our unfortunate life foibles! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Mari Baptiste]

Hello, Margie!

I originally wrote this based off of a situation I had with my darling (my family confronted him t some point). As I continued to write it, however, I decided to write a poem that most people could relate to. Something flexible that could mean anything. So it could be about a lover, as in my case, or it could be about a friend or God or even a father figure in the reader’s life. I wrote it in such a way that readers can make it their story. 😊 Thank you again for reading. I’m glad you’re enjoying my work. 😊

Warm Regards,
Mari

[Coyote Poetry]

I hope you will write some poetry books and stories one day dear Mari. You are so talented and wonderful. You made me feel and understand the thoughts in the poetry.
"The level of understanding he gave me was foreign.
Not once in the past was such a virtue so lovingly bestowed upon me.
The kindness and compassion in his eyes as he looked into my soul; as each dark and troubled aspect of my worthless existence was laid down before him, left me in awe.
All eloquence in my system had, in an instant, abandoned me. "
The above lines. So good and honest. True love loved us in our good or bad days. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry. I enjoyed this one.
Coyote

[Mari Baptiste]

Thank you so much for reviewing my works, Coyote. I’m really glad that you’re enjoying them. 😊
True love definitely sees beyond past mistakes. Hope to hear from you again soon! 😊❤️

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Mari. A amazing poem.

[H L Rose]

I love how you used simple wording to convey your story. I also think the usage of words like "s**t" and "w***e" were excellent choices to depict the meaning behind the characters actions that lead them to this point. There was no over explanation, because you had good word choice. I also loved your last words "and into the light, I returned at last". I thought the use of the word's "returned at last" were powerful, because they hold such a deep meaning and once again there was no over explanation.

[Mari Baptiste]

Thank you, Hannah!

I do prefer writing poems and pieces that are easy for readers to understand and relate to. I agree about not over explaining. It’s nice to let the reader think a bit. 😊❤️

[GwenLark]

Oh Mari, this was wonderful. I was completely captivated. Well done and keep writing

[Mari Baptiste]

Hi, Gwen! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Going through a bit of writers block right now, but thank you for reminding me to write. 😅😁