The Beginning

I had an experience once and this is only a glimmer

I succumbed to the many hands as they pulled my body
Everyone's face was withered
Their teeth and noses rotting
Hot like ash they beckoned my withered soul down
I twisted and turned fighting
Submerging in flames that drown
I noticed the figure of my father
Sitting crossed legged in a chair
He'd been dead for 15 years
So I knew he wasn't possibly there
He watched as I struggled
Keeping time with his foot and watch
Why were there tears in his eyes
And a brightening light just a blotch
It grew with the beat of a drum
Strengthened by its beckon I cried
I managed to break from the palms
Their sweat dripped off me as I died.
A smile appeared on his lips
And I ran to the arms of my past
He brushed free the hair from my face
But I knew the comfort couldn't last.
He held my tiny hands with his own
He'd been waiting for me to accept
That this place was no longer my home
I forgot all I'd be leaving behind
The pain and the loved ones still stuck
But I knew my struggle was over
This beginning was not just pure luck
As my eyes could finally see
The crowd cheered and gathered
How could this much love be for me

Author's Note

Any productive criticism is welcome :)

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A great struggle in the poem. The poem danced on emotions and sad places. All of us seek things that cannot be found again. The tone of the poem is solemn and honest. I like the positive ending. Sometime we must reach the end to see the new beginning. Thank you for sharing your outstanding poetry. Always good to read your words.
Coyote

[A. Amos]

Love your style of writing brilliant and elegant. Thanks for sharing

[roarke]

I know nothing of form. This is an expression of release. This is a recounting of breathing the air of the soul. It rings true.

[Dushyant Patni]

A well-structured poem. The first few stanzas have a very real and palpable nightmarish quality to them.
Felt like something out of a Stephen King novel or Silent Hill(the game,not the crappy movie).
Your imagery is top-notch, as is the flow and rhythm, and the ending is pretty solid.
Great stuff.