Late nightshift 3

When u let go

Last night i was weak. I felt an urge of writing him. We didn't talk in 2 weeks. Always trying to end it. Again and again. How many times can we end something? I needed closure. AGAIN. So i wrote him and told him to let me go. He said his mind is with me. WHY SHOULD I CARE? He is sacrificing himself for his children... If he would just be happy about it. He is not. This man is a weak man. He gave up on his dream job, he gave up on advancing in his future. He quit his job coz he was tired. He is 34. Come on, we are all tired! He wants to buy a Mercedes Sprinter and travel the world for 3 years. Laughable. This man has no money to buy himself a new jacket. Laughing again. Maybe i am being mean. But this man has no future and his family is just an image he created in his mind. I wish him to stay forever as blind as he is now, otherwise he will one day... Regret. Not me. I don't want him to regret me. I loved this man. I wish him happiness. All I wanted was to make him happy. But why do i have to fix people? People that don't wanna be fixed. Maybe it's a flaw of mine. I am weak when it comes to love. But I don't regret writing him last night. I have let him go. I feel so much better now. I feel free again. Do i still want him? No. Do I still think about him? Yes. It will take a while. But now at least i can live normally and breathe without looking around desperately trying to find him in a crowd. How crazy was I?
I am happy now. It's summer. I have plans. I took back my love. And it's all for me now.

I wish u well beautiful people ❤️