Thoughts about myself. By me.

I saw my appearance this morning and notice something that I found quite odd. So I wrote a small journal entry. Because why not.

So I notice an interesting fact about me. Yes, it's something I notice, it was not particularly discovered. It was that, I generally appear a cheerful person. I wear clothing with the similar themes such as: floral patterns, or positive imagery. Sure I wear darker colors, but it's not because I want to look grungy and badass. It's just that, those colors compliment  my skin tone. And in turn those dark hues don't truly give me that punk vibe, they just bring out my body's natural coloring.

Even my hair seems to provide a general appearance of friendliness.  Though, I have a complete under cut and barely have any locks, this cut makes me feel free and more confident. I don't feel suffocated and hidden as I do with long hair. Even my coloring is usually bright and welcoming to others whether is natural or artificial.

What I'm getting at is that, internally I am a dark person. I suffer with many issues and I am also interested in themes that are sinister in nature. I enjoy horror, suspense, supernatural genres. I truly enjoy entertaining the idea of experimenting with villains and monsters in my writing because I believe they are misunderstood. They are simply creatures that were given a hard life and to protect themselves they became something fearful to others.

In turn I believe I could easily become a villain in so many lives do to my hurtful past. But I chose not too, I am only an observer who helps passerbys here and there.

My appearance contrast with my conscience. I think it's me trying to protect me from becoming a villain. I've made myself to look like a happy maiden but who has an inner darkness that could used to transform her into an evil queen.

  I suppose I just like talking about myself. Which is strange since I seem to have a love/hate relationship with me, myself, and I. But that's okay. I'm okay with myself

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

This is a very thoughtful writing ..who we are and how we will present ourselves to others..hide or show our deep inner side could be very dark..not very different from those who you will see as villains but really they are not much more than we could be..only they suffered a lot and it's their way to defend against and protect..only we would never go this far..it's just like dressing out and showing ..but we will not dress like
that for we have to mingle with others ..loved your thoughts..always you have nice special thoughts to tell love it all.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are alright. Old wise saying. Be who you need to be. If you try to make the world happy. You won't be. I liked this story of you. I like the ending a lot. Thank you Maple Ellen for sharing your words and your thoughts.
Coyote