A Letter to Anik

a letter to a friend that has passed

I cried again tonight. It has been years since the last time I cried for you. But you are always in there in my heart. I wanted to let you know that it is because of you that I'm no longer afraid of death, for how can it be so scary when I know that you are waiting for me on the other side.

You should know, that although we knew each other for so short a time, you are engraved on my soul.Despite the fact that you we very shy, you shaped me into what I am today, and I hope that its someone you would be proud to have as your friend. 

I remember the little things about you that may seam silly, but they stand out to me. We rode bikes together around the block once or twice. you were quiet but we were together. We sat next to each other during music, I think we both played the violin. I remember laughing with you, and that to me is important. Your favorite color was orange. That stands out to me because every one I've ever know that liked the color orange that much was a remarkable person, and you were too!

That last week you were in school, you gave a mutual friend a red clifford eraser to take care of. He was your favorite. We came to the conclusion that you knew something was going to happen.

I still remember that monday morning. It felt dark. There were grief counselors, and I didn't know who they were, or why they were there. I remember shock and fear. I remember being alone during recess, missing you. I remember feeling guilty, because I was happy the day you died and I should have known...

....I should have know something was wrong and I didn't. God this is hard! Anik I miss you and it isn't fair!

We were eleven years old when we parted. The only think that comforted me then was that I knew you were in heaven. Where else could you have gone? You were such a wonderful person, and I now find solace in knowing that you will be there waiting for me when it is my turn to die. It has been eleven years and I still miss you. I hope you can be proud of who I have become. I love you!

--Amanda

Author's Note

Anink was born with heart problems, and without telling a single friend what was going on in her life, one saturday in fifth grade she went to have open heart surgery. There were complications and she died on the table. Even today i still feel the loss.

Reviews

[Rediscovery]

This reminds me of a classmate the was killed in an ATV accident during Spring Break. A blind man could tell that there was something wrong if he walked through our grade's hallway the Monday following break. And it was the same with the councelors.
I didn't really know her, but I had her in one of my classes before she died, she always wore a smile and joked a lot. From then on, that class was really sad and well, jokeless. It's hard on everyone.