Where are the stars tonight?

why can't i see the stars?

i look up into the night

darkness

why can't i see the stars?

.

.

.

.

its cold tonight.

and you lied to my face

so i left

its cold tonight.

and i can't see the stars.

.

.

.

.

how can i think without them

without the stars?

its like you're not there

and i need you now more than ever

.

.

.

all i need is to see a damn star!

just to let me know you're there

i'm so lost and confused

i want to ask you what to do

but there are no stars tonight

.

.

.

.

.

i guess i'll wait till the morning

.

.

.

.

.

there's not even the sun today

i guess i am alone

Reviews

[Sarah]

I really love the repetition and the way that this was written like someone kind of losing their mind in the darkness. You're out in the darkness and there is no one around to comfort you, not even nature. Very haunting, and yet written like thoughts being documented as they're happening. Created a very realistic and harsh tone. Loved this, great job!

[Brasso]

So many possible meanings to this poem. One, it could be symbolising a person's loss of faith. Two, it could be representing the uncertainty of all things and that even the stars may just dissapear. Three, it could simply be that she can't see the forest for the trees, so to speak. I liked the flow because it suited the tone of the poem, the growing sense of depseration and longing is greatly enhansed by this. My one dislike is the rhythm, it seemed to change in the line 'all i need is to see a damn star!' because it seemed to change from this gentle, weeping rhtyhm to one of anger, though I suppose that could be representing the fragility and range of emotions the speaker is having.
An enjoyable write,
Brrasso