A child back into dust is swept

for anik, may you rest in peace

A child back into dust is swept

Sweet innocence too dies

Eleven is too short of breath

 

Her heart still holds a sleeping depth

How empty now seem the skies

For a child back into dust is swept

 

Her secret health she kept

Not sure of her demise

Eleven is too young of breath

 

So confused by a sing death

The children's thoughts are cries 

A child back into dust is swept

 

A mother left for only regret

Praying it all to be lies

Eleven is far short of breath

 

Not once afraid she bravely leapt

Too little are the young the wise

A child back into dust is swept

Eleven is too short of breath

Reviews

[Brasso]

Well written and structured. Enjambment to show the ongoing sorrow that the speaker is feeling is great and also emphasises the dark and depressing tone of the poem. The theme is also greatly helped by these two factors and the imagery created is powerful ... I can practically see the speaker on the podium at the funeral reading this out, with a tear tracing down her eye. The use of rhyme to suggest some sort of effort that the speaker is clinging desperately onto the child is great and the repetition further emphasises this feeling of great and overwhelming sadness.
Brasso

[ABitBrokenPoetry]

love this poem. its dark & bitterly sad. the repetition really adds more strength to your words. great tribute.

[cest la vie]

The death of a young child is extremely disturbing. you managed to bring love and sweetness to this piece. I really like this write. Good job!

[Lunar Lightning]

Wow... I am left speachless at this it is so good... I really liked the repeatign lines, usually I am not too into it, but it added so much to this poem. Great job!

Luna