The Ex

When I divorced my husband we agreed to be friends and date. After a long, long time it dawned on me that it was like having surgery and keeping the diseased parts that were removed. The truth was we weren’t really friends and never could be. While I didn’t hate him, I hated what he had done to our family and still do. I am sick at the thought that he should have any part in our children’s lives now because of what he did to them in the past and continues to do. But my children need to build a relationship with their father and they keep reaching out to him. Since they are adults I can’t protect them. All I can do is be there to listen when they get hurt. Except I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to know anything about their dad. Now if I could only get them and my ex to understand that. Yes my ex husband calls me to vent and complain about our children, his wife, his family, his job, etc….enough already! I think what has triggered this surge of resentment in me is when I needed a sleeping bag last weekend and I remembered that I didn’t have one anymore because when I was married my husband had packed to go camping with his 1^st mistress and told me he was taking both sleeping bags so they would have something to sleep in. Yep he actually felt ok with this. This weekend he will be walking our daughter down the aisle and dancing with her to a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called Cinderella. In my heart I know he has no right to dance with her or be part of her wedding but I also know that he deserves a second chance and if it takes a thousand second chances for him to get it right, so be it.