Thoughts of a divorced son

Deep thoughts of young boy on his struggling relationship with his mother

I feel like a guest in my own house. I’ve never felt the obligation to go, yet many times I did not want to. Time after time I’ve let people down for it, and still, it happens that I urge the need to go, to peel away from home, just for enough time. I can’t live there, nor I want to, but I should. She has not earned it, she does not deserve it, yet she tries, in her own way at least. Or maybe she does, because in many ways, it is intention that matters, isn’t it? ; But why should I turn my back on the person that was always there? Or should I not value the changes she’s made for us? It is hard to change who we are after all. Sometimes we need to be overruled by our feelings. Maybe we should even be obligated to think about others, but, then again, it is too much worries, too much problems, too much work. The solution might be to ignore them, or just to run away, without measuring the damage we’ve created with our absence. Maybe we can be shared, but it’s hard to be at two places at once; it is like we had two lives; but we can’t stop the thought of them wanting us to be happy, but, what about them? They can let go.