The Puddle

Written August 2007, pre deletion day.

The Puddle

Do I pray for the? do I curse at the?
my endless words are different but connected.
Wake, woken, breathing, living,
which rabbit hole do I escape first?

A view, sight, of warm winters and freezing summers,
pastures without end, a box with no opening.
The workings of a complicated mind,
the mist it settles and stays.

Austen she comforts but does not dispell,
the darkeness shadows the strongest river.
Walk the asphalt, boundaries are prisons,
fight, keep fighting .... small stones ripple.

Reviews

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

I feel the idea of a closed 'offness', a stifling here...very well established in this piece. The ripple effect itself spreads out into infinity I believe which opens the door from the isolation I feel in this poem. Glad to see you are writing again - yippee! Congratulations. Thank you for your previous review...I always enjoy sharing work with you and reading your wonderful concoctions...come out of that cocoon now dear butterfly...
Light,
Siddartha

[Shane Patrick]

this style is nice.. although the meanings and truths of your works are still very deep and strong.. wonderful my friend..

[RAWR!]

- i liked the alice in wonderland refence.
"small stones ripple", draws me to think about haikus,
- zen buddhist haikus.
the words have a nice flavour to them as well.

"Walk the asphalt, boundaries are prisons"
aspahlt is man made, something you walk on that shows you where the road is.
so it contains you, in a way.
in the forest you are free to go anywhere, you can break the tail whenever you want.

a trail might be safe today but not tomorrow,
but with asphalt you have something absolute.
you can drive or walk on it every day.
and you will end up at the same place everytime.

i need coffee and lunch now.

thank you for sharing you piece.

*pRrrr*

[Nick Erickson]

Hidden or not hidden meaning... I see a person trying to beat their way out of a box, bag, prison... Another excellent piece, old or new. It doesn't matter.

[Celtic Cat]

Wow, this is beautiful, so glad I happened upon it. Literally, I was about to surf through some of your old stuff, and this just popped up onto my screen! Guess it wanted to be heard, or read. : ) Yes, sadness permeates, but in the end, I see the hope. Nicely done!

[The Random Writings Of ..]

Feeling of sadness, and being trapped, loneliness.... So very sad, heartbreaking. This is a great piece, and a very deep piece. Thank you so much for sending this to me.
Kates

[E. Maggard]

"A view, sight, of warm winters and freezing summers,
pastures without end, a box with no opening.
The workings of a complicated mind,
the mist it settles and stays" This stanza is good- really good- it draws me in more than the other two- but that can be blamed on an aversion to Austen on my part. YOu have soem beautiful imgery that I greatly appreciate. It's fancy without seeming pressed. Good job.

[Bubo]

A feeling of being alone............ripples, brings so many thoughts to mind.........

The second stanza really draws you in..

A view, sight, of warm winters and freezing summers,
pastures without end, a box with no opening.
The workings of a complicated mind,
the mist it settles and stays.

Sometimes it is hard when that mist settles, I loved the way you weaved so much into
a relatively short piece.

[Darryl Salach]

I liked the ending...great images there...wonderful poem darlin'!!!xo

[Gandré]

Very nice thoughts I love your mind. Always uplifting,
new source, new sight, new experience.
you are giving.
love yours
lara

[Zane Mathias]

i love this. i miss reading your stuff. :)