Tick, Tick, Tick, Ring

It's about a person that is hurting of losing their lover.

Tick, tick, tick, ring.
As hours past I sit here waiting,
Waiting for you my dear.
The more I think of you and me,
You and me go more farer way from my dreams…

 

Tick, tick, tick, ring.
As I hear angels sings,
Sings for you to fall asleep.
As much I want you wake,
Wake is what I need to see you alive…

 

Tick, tick, tick, ring.
As I hate seeing you like this,
This is more pain then hurting.
The way you talk,
Talk grows more shorter by a day…

 

Tick, tick, tick, ring.
As I believe your words,
Words never make it out of the mouth.
I’m helpless without you,
You never see me this way again…

 

Tick, tick, tick…
As the angels take you way,
Way to find out why they are doing this to you.
I cry more, the more it hurts,
Hurts more because I love you, my dear,
And I can never tell you that again,
Again, and again… Ring…

Author's Note

This is a poem I came up because I was waitting for someone and there was this clock that never stop ticking. I hope you like it. :)

Reviews

[PJ Asay]

It sounded British. IDK good job. I need sleep please pardon my weirdness.

[Kat Collins]

Good job...interesting rhthym to it. I like the way you italicized the ticks and rings. Gave them a different feel, more important...you feel the waiting, the time ticking away. Some of the lines are sentences and some are disjointed...maybe work on that a little more so it flows a little more smoothly (unless that's your intent?). Overall, nice one!

[WriteWiz99]

i dont like it...I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!