What I am Afraid Of

A simple piece in which i feel many people may connect to or know someone whom may.

This piece is one that I believe everyone has or will go through. This is not a writing to speak of fears or things that may lead to fear. Fear is a state of mind many would say so to that I say fear is weaker than being afraid. Fear being a state of mind means to me something that you may overcome. Afraid is a state in which no matter what you do, it is always something that will cause you to be AFRAID. It is almost like a phobia, no how hard you try to overcome it, it will still cause fear. I am known to my friends as the man with many answers, a know it all as they wold say. I don't believe that to be true, so I will let you guys decide. What I afraid of the most, is what many of friends don't understand, is life.

I'm not talking about growing old or death but the life one lives. I have dated many girls and all of them have ended with me having pain. Suffered due to the fact that I truly believed that I loved them yet had no understanding what love is. Life is full of ups and downs but that is what I am afraid of. I am afraid of being hurt, alone in this world and not having anybody understand me. My parents even believe what my friends say. Seriously, my parents who are twenty years older than me believe I perceive and understand life more than them. Call me a dreamer, philosopher or just a plain old kid who sees the world in a bigger picture who shouldn't. I don't understand why these ideals of mine seem to confuse people, even me sometimes. I feel like in this big world, even universe, I am alone. One who treads the path to a brighter light of understanding  and knowledge. One who wants the whole truth of purpose. What I am afraid of is the answer I will receive; afraid that the answer is something I yet may understand. I will want to know more. I will want to make my reality the realities of others. I am afraid that if I do that, the world won't spin, but pause so that everyone may understand what I see. I am afraid of seeing the world become a world in which the ideals are connected but yet confuse others about what they believed in and questions the new beliefs. I am afraid of a perfect world.  

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems please. Just a random piece, if guys like it tell me. Let me know what I should differently and I will be writing more soon with my ideas a little more thought. Thank you guys and much love.