Three Live Taken, Three Left Behind

    It’s fifteen minutes past three o-clock in the afternoon. The sky is gray and gloomy just as Andy likes it. He walks down the usually solitary street, on his way home from yet another day of mathematics, essay, friends and of course his favorite girl, Jane. Today, the 4th of January, 2009 that lonely street is not so lonely. People pass him by, starring with pity, patting  him on the back. An old man, a really good neighbor passes on his right side, his head down trying to avoid eye contact. Something stops him from walking away from the confused boy with sweet brown eyes. He turns and yells to him, unable to contain his tears.
    “Andy. I’m deeply sorry for your loss.”
    “What?”
    Before the old man could respond, Andy hears Mommy screaming in the distance. Terrified, he runs the last block and a half to his house. As he turns the corner he’s overwhelmed by the sight. Mommy just got home and was obviously as terrified and confused as he was. She’s on the floor laying in Daddy’s arms. Both working together to create the large puddle of tears in front of them. The fire engine is parked right in front of the garden he and Mommy planted together with his older sister Emmy. All of his neighbors are surrounding the house, a look of terror on their whispering faces. Yellow tape surrounds the house and police officers walk in and out exchanging words frequently. Now, confused more than ever, his heart racing like his favorite car the Bugatti Veyron pushing at 1001 horse power, he runs to his parents frantically looking for answers.
    “Mommy, what’s going on? Where’s Jack?”
    His oldest brother Jack decided two years ago, at the age of fifteen that he didn’t need an education to succeed in life. He dropped out of school to join a gang. He loved his new family more than anything. They gave him a sense of belonging. He felt needed by them. And he vowed to always be there for them, no matter what. And he kept that promise until today.
    It all started this morning, and a hectic morning it was, just like any other of course. Mommy was yelling at the kids to wake up. Thirty minutes left before it’s time to head to school and Andy’s youngest brother Mark was still wrapped in the safe comfort of his soft blankets. Daddy’s yelling at Jack to fix the garage door.
    “I want it fixed by the time I get home. If you’re not gonna study, you’re definitely going to work.”
    “Yeah, Whatever.”
    “What?”
    “I said I’ll fix it.”
    “I can’t believe him.”
    Directing his words towards Mommy. “What did we do wrong with him? What?”
    A simple shrug and sigh is all Mommy is able to muster at this point, as she rushes up the stairs with a glass of cold water.
    “Fifteen minutes Mark. What are you thinking? You get out of bed right this second or I’ll pour this glass of water on your head. Now Mark. I will not say another word.
    “Okay, okay.”
    “And you will not be late so hurry up.”
    Little Mark sits up in his Lightning McQueen themed bed and yawns the biggest yawn in the world. He stands up and stumbles over the truck Jack gave him for his birthday two weeks ago. He goes to the bathroom and wets his face. His eyes shoot wide open. Before grabbing a towel he slides his wet hand across his messy brown hair just like his Daddy does.
    In the room next door, Jack’s phone begins to ring. The theme song of his favorite show The Godfather plays.
    “Hello?”
    “Hey Jackie my boy. I need you tonight.”
    “Yeah, I’m not gonna make it man. It’s my Ma’s birthday and I got a surprise for her you know. I gotta be here.”
    “No, no, no. Man. Okay, you’re f*****g with me right? Tell me you’re f*****g with me, cuz you know I needed you tonight Guerito.”
    “Nah man, it’s one night. You can let it go just once can’t you?”
    “F**k you fool. Whatever. Hey, you know what? I’m proud of you. Standing up to me for your Ma. You starting to think like the boss huh? Actually I got a surprise for you too. I’ll drop it off later today.”
    “Okay kool. Hey, no hard feelings right?”
    “Nah. No hard feelings. What do you think I am? A P***y? Anyway, you’ll make it up to me. Don’t worry. Talk to you on the flipside as they say.”
    “Aight, later.”
    “I’ll be home early today. Be good.” Mommy yells from the bottom of the stairs.
    “K. Bye.”
    She throws the kids into her van as Daddy get situated in his Prius and they both drive off, Daddy burning rubber as he turns out of the driveway. He comes close to hitting the little boy riding his tricycle on the sidewalk.
    Jack rushes down the stairs as soon as he see’s his estranged family disappearing into the morning fog.
    He takes out the cooking book titled “Deserts and More” and flips to the Birthday Cakes section. He runs to the fridge and to the cupboard looking for all the ingredients needed. He places the items one by one on the counter while going over his checklist with a red marker.
    “Milk.”
    The red marker makes a thick line around the word milk and Jack bolts out the front door with the jingling car keys in his hand.
    When he returns the front door is open. There’s a hole in the window next to it.
    “Who the f**k?”
    As he steps in the door his gang, his family step in front of him. The boss man holding a beautiful cake. Had to be worth a thousand dollars. It read “Happy 40th Mom.”
    “Hey Jakie, I told you I had a surprise for you. Well this one actually is for your hott a*s mom, and this one….”
    He said as he pulled out a gun and pointed it at Jack’s head.
    “is for you.”
    And he pulled the trigger.
    The next thing you know the police show up, ambulance, fire engine, Mommy’s screaming at the top of her lungs, Daddy’s holding her, both of them crying. Neighbors surround the house and Andy running toward his parents confused.
    On the day of Jack’s funeral Mommy and Daddy were found dead in the bathroom. Their wrists were slit, the water in the still running bathtub red, almost black. The kids were devastated, confused, scared when they walked in.
    
    15 years later.

    Emmy’s about 30 years old now, and ever since the death of her parents and oldest brother, she hasn’t been the same.
    “Hey sweetie! Would you like to dance?” she said to the cute girl sitting at the bar to her right.
    The night is cold, foggy. A full moon is hiding behind the thin clouds above. It’s so dark inside the Executive Suite, even darker than outside. The kind of darkness that lies to our faces while we take a shot of tequila. Beautiful faces start sprouting out in the dim lights while the vampire souls hid in the dark shadows.
    “I’d like that.”
    They dance. Sensual. Something out of this world. Amazing and unforgettable.
    Then they leave, taking only Emmy’s car.
    As they reach Emmy’s house, she receives a phone call from Andy, her younger brother. He’s worried about Mark, the youngest of the four.
    Mark has been acting quite odd for years but this morning was completely and utterly the strangest he’d ever been. As he walked around his home completing all his daily routines there was something different. He was talking. He hated talking in the morning, he needed his peace and quiet. He disliked noise, he simply wanted to get his routines out of the way so that he could sleep the rest of the day. Not only was he talking on this bright and sunny morning but he was talking to himself. Murmuring something Andy could barely understand.
    “He’s coming, he’s coming. He’ll take me with him. He has too. He’s coming, he’s coming. He’ll take me.’
    This went on while he brushed his teeth for exactly two and a half minutes. It continued as he starred in the mirror until he found something to fix about his self image. Usually it was something as simple as a pimple or a white hair on his head. Sometimes after about ten minutes of starring he would finally decide that all he needed was a nice shave. He ranted all while he walked around the entire house fixing all the imperfections of his brothers cleaning, and making sure he didn’t step on any crack of the tiled floor. Then he turned his attention to Andy.
    “He’s coming. You shouldn’t have done it. He didn’t need you to revenge him. He didn’t want you to do that. I’ve done nothing wrong. He’ll take me. You shouldn’t have.”
    “Shouldn’t have what?” Andy shouted back at him, scared, enraged.
    “You shouldn’t have killed them all.”
    That’s when he grabbed the phone and called his big sister.
    “You have to come see him. I don’t understand. He doesn’t know what I did. I didn’t tell him, did you? Why did you tell him? No of course you didn’t tell him, why am I saying that? Why is he saying that, he’s still doing it? He wont stop. I went to work and I came home and he’s still going at it.”
    “I don’t know Andy, I’m kinda busy right now. I’ll be by in the morning. Just calm down and try to get some sleep. You know he’s crazy, just ignore him.”
    “I know, it’s just….”
    “Go to sleep Andy, I don’t have time right now.”
    “Goodnight.”
    “So, where were we sweet thing?”
    “You were just gonna carry me out of this chariot and into your castle and f**k my brains out my queen.” She said with the sweetest smile. It’s a real shame she’ll never see the light of day again.
    “I like role playing, I could really get into this.”
    After a night of lustful sex, Emmy slipped her lover a pill that would put her in the deepest, most restful sleep of her short twenty eight years of life. She wasn’t her first, but she was definitely one of the most beautiful women she had ever done.
    The night was just beginning. She still had to chop up the body into pieces that would fit in the trash bags she would later dump in the river located exactly three hours away from her home. But she arrived at her brothers home early in the morning as she promised. After all, a persons promise is all they are.
    The door is wide open. Nobody’s home.
    “Andy.” She yells, hoping for an answer.
    “Mark?”
    “Hi little sis.” A soft, familiar voice calls to her in the distance. That’s not Andy or Mark.
    “Jack?”
    “I’ve missed you honey, come with us. Andy and Mark are already sleeping.”
    “Where? Where are you?”
    “Take three steps forward and you’ll find me.”
    And on the third step she fell into a hole. A fourth dimension where she was reunited with her brothers.

Author's Note

Let me know how I can make this piece better, all criticism is accepted. Thank you.

Reviews

[Tina Kline]

This is a very interesting and very different. The one thing I think would make it better is to explain more of what is going on, to the first killing, the second killing and how this second part of this story relates to the first. If the reader knew more why these killings were happening, and how the first and second part of the story are connected I think that would make the story much more enjoyable.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very intriguing and intense... well every action has a reaction and what comes around goes around. I agree that maybe you could give a little more detail as to the connection of the first and second part, otherwise very nice work.

[C.M.]

I agree with Tina, but its all subjecive of course....I will say the writing is strong and perhaps you could just come out with the story stronger. Just say what's going on then start to paint with the words. Or at least try this and it may give you more cannon fodder.

[Eye0fthebeh0lder]

This is very interesting. I haven't read many stories of this sort but I really enjoyed it :)