Eternal Night

The scent of iron and steel can be sickening.

          There are no bright flowers and pretty ponies in my fairy tale. Oh no, and there is no bright shining sun, or clear crystal nights.

 

          Instead I have an iron and steel forest, a city full of bright lights. They’ll keep you up at night, you know, making you think, making you wonder. They’re like eyes, staring at you, intensely, like they just want to break right into your soul and rip your life out.

 

          I have clouds and fog at night, no moon or stars. At least, tonight I have this. I can’t usually see past the damn lights. But the cold bridge has few lights, and the sky is visible, but there is nothing to see. Isn’t that just typical. When you can finally see something there is nothing to see.

 

          I can almost feel the cold iron through my sneakers. Just shows how damn cold the city is, how damn dead it is. I hate it here. I hate my iron prison. I hate my steel walls. I hate the lights that slowly burn into me day after day, night after agonizing night.

 

          I lean back against an iron bar and peer down. Below me, so many feet down, I see rippling water. I can barely make any detail of it out, I feel so high. This bridge was always like standing on another world. But still, I’m not far enough from the lights.

 

          The only way I can escape them is in the water, in the eternal night the deep depths hold. I know it’s down there, somewhere, my truly dark night, and I will find it. I lean over more; I feel the wind in my hair, on my face, sinking in through my clothes.

 

          No one would ever think I would be the one to look for that eternal night. No one at all. Not I, I’m too perfect; I enjoy the damn city, don’t I? They think I do. Everyone thinks I love the iron, the steel, the crowds, the goddamn lights.

 

          But they’re all so f*****g wrong. They have no idea what every minute is like in this hell for me. I just want to rip my flesh off, escape this body, and dive deep into the water, away from all of this, this city, this life, this “happiness”.

 

          I inhale deeply. I know when I jump, there’s no going back. I fall to the water, perhaps enjoy my momentary flight. When I hit the water, I may black out, I may hit my head on a rock and die right there. Or I’ll inevitably drown. Whatever the case, I don’t care. I just want my eternal night. I want my blackness.

 

          I let go of my iron bar, my safety blanket, and walk straight to the edge. By now some cars have spotted me, and a few people have even stopped. I know I don’t have any more time to think now. I have to act, or go back to the light.

 

          Never will I go back to it.

 

          I take a deep breath, and silently, I say farewell to my prison. I won’t miss it, any of it. Then, I simply step. There is no jump, no exaggeration, I want to stay simple. The fall is so nice, for once in my life I’m flying, the wind rushing through me. But it’s not cold anymore.

 

          Then the water. Oh how it stings my body, turns me raw. But it still feels good, just what I need. I dive deep with no control over my movement, and then there is a sharp pain, then nothing. I see only black, I feel only empty space, not even the water.

 

          I have found my eternal night.

Reviews

[Detective Watts]

Neat. Reminds me of Lovecraft. Keep it up.