Crossing

There's a bridge that separates Light and Dark. I never thought you could cross it....

Do you remember? When you led me to the bridge? When I got a glimpse of the world of Light? Well here’s what happened in your absence…

I used to think that these individuals from the world of Light would come to us and lead us to the bridge, where there is much laughter and happiness and hope, but that the world of Light was never to be ours and we could not enter onto the bridge alone. This did not bother me, I was happy to just see the bridge covered in the beautiful glowing ivy with its sparkling water. I tried to talk to others about it, but few believed me and I always went alone.

So when you came to me and brought me onto the bridge, my heart left my soul and presented itself to you. I was so grateful to you; I knew my soul had been saved by someone much higher. But I didn't put my focus on Him, the one who created me and had sent you to me; I gave credit to you, only a messenger.

But you had a life, a duty, in the world of light. You couldn't leave it just to save me and lead me day after day. Your visits over the bridge began to be less and less to the point I was just sitting on the other side, staring, waiting, but the world of light began to grow fuzzier and fuzzier, and alas, I was lost again.

I tried to turn away, I ran and ran through the forest of tears, leaving my trace in the trees and screaming to the sky above me. I wanted to forget about the bridge. I wanted to forget my love, the happiness; I wanted to forget the world of light. This is what I knew- this is where I belonged in the end. I went into various tunnels of all kinds, trying every outlet I could find, doing what those around me were doing. But they couldn't really see me, lost in their own battles, and I was very much alone.

But seeing the bridge had changed me. Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw the glow, I heard the splish-splash of the water, I felt the warmth over my cold shoulders.

I thought maybe being there without you wouldn't be so bad. It wouldn't be as nice for sure, but it would still be nice, and there had been other people there. I had just spent all my time looking at you that I hadn't seen their faces. I felt appalled that I had never  even bothered to learn thier names.

So I began to walk the long journey back. I expected that I wouldn't remember the way, but time passed quickly and I found it was engrained in my memory.

It was just as I remembered it! Nothing had changed, although I didn't see you there as you were busy with your duties. It must be nice to have a job, to be doing something good and worthy and wonderful, I thought to myself.

"Hello," a girl with shiny blonde hair said to me. She was very plain by wordly standards. Her face had some red spots, she was thin, tall, and lacked any curves. She wore no makeup and her clothes were forgetable. But despite all that, she seemed to outshine any beauty I had seen before, and I liked looking at her face. She raised her hand to shake mine. "I think I've seen you here before."

"Yes, I was here with-" I stopped myself. "I just love spending time here."

She laughed a kind, ringing sort of laugh. "Yes, so do we. It's nice to remind us of where we've been and to help the lost find their way."

"Remind us of where we've been?"

The girl smiled. "A lot of us actually originated in what you call “your” world, or spent some time there. When my father died, I spent a lot of time wandering the forest of pain."

"I'm very familiar with it," I shuddered.

She shuddered too. I didn't like the idea that someone like her would have to walk there. "So now you just spend all your time on the bridge?" I guessed. That didn't sound like too bad of a life.

"No," she smiled again. "I crossed over."

"You crossed?" I laughed. Surely she was kidding. "That's funny." I looked longily across the way, the celestial buildings seeming somehow to brighten more as we spoke of them.

She put her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. "Watch me carefully now, alright?" I watched her, blonde hair flowing, taking slow and deliberate steps towards a gate. It might have been silver, it might have been gold, I wasn't sure, but it was beautiful. She paused at it, looked above into the sky, whispered something, then slid it open and walked in.

I couldn't see after that and caught my breath, I hoped she was coming back. I felt a little weird here standing alone, like I didn't deserve to talk to anyone, and although I knew they'd be perfectly friendly if I did, I felt better when they were the ones who appraoched me.

But in just the blink of an eye she was back and standing before me. "Don't you see, that you can cross?

I shook my head. "That's different, you weren't born in my world. Thank you though, I appreciate the thought. It's a nice thing to dream about, maybe. Dreams are highly valued in my world, not many of us have them."

She sighed. "No, you don't understand!" She motioned to another girl, with black curly hair down to her hips. "Please, explain to this lost soul!"

The other girl came to me, with the same smile. "Born in the world of darkness, I assume?"

"I think maybe I might have been born somewhere else, but I've been here so long I can't remember anything else."

"I was born there too."

"As if I believe that," I snapped, for the first time feeling angry. What did they want from me?

"You may have seen me in the Tunnel Of Substance Abuse, a few years ago. I was very lost."

I closed my eyes for a moment, and then I remembered. I had never entered any of the outlet tunnels, but sometimes I had looked in, curious. One time, in the SA tunnel, I had seen a girl with black curly hair, but her face had looked very different back then. Her eyes had been glazed over, bottles by her feet, she sat in a filthy dark tunnel, and when I looked at her, she immediately crawled deeper in the tunnel.

"That was...you...?"

"You can cross." She said firmly. "Trust me. And the world is not "your world". It is "a world." This is a separation you must make if you ever are actually wanting to step through that gate."

I nodded, trying to let this sink in. It seemed maybe, I had always known this, somewhere deep inside, from the moment I saw the bridge. But now facing the reality of this fact, I was scared. What was the other world like? Was there anything familar? No there wasn't, that was for sure. How could there, when this was all I knew? My world- no the world, oh how could it really be anything other then mine? How could I possibly have ownership of another forest, another tunnel? I would have to leave behind everyone I knew, every feeling, every thought, for some new kind of life? No, no, I couldn't.

And worse, what if it was wonderful, amazing, everything of my dreams, and then I lost it. I angered the ruler of that world and they kicked me out.  Or maybe I wouldn't fit in and would want to leave. Or maybe I would be lonely without my companions, even if there company was few and far between. They were still mine.

"I'm sorry....I'm not..."

The girls smiled and looked at each other in a knowing sort of way, then back at me. "You're not ready. That's alright, we knew that. You will be."

"I will?"

"Just look up, and come back when you're ready. We're not going anywhere. And mostly importantly, neither is He."

And they both looked up.

Author's Note

I found this on my old computer...This was written (not literally, I never showed him of course) to a friend of mine who helped me more then he will ever know with my depression. He led me back to God and back to hope, and since then I have gotten a point where I am actually normal and happy-feeling. There's a lot of symbolism in the piece, I won't explain any more then I have because as personal as it is, I hope it is still relatable.

I'm a bit nervous posting this...I know it's kind of long but I would REALLY appreciate feedback on this one.

Reviews

[TheFemininePad]

A most impressive writing. My review comes from the view point of someone who believes in a higher power, but doesn't affiliate with any one religion. I found your writing to be very beautiful. It almost brought me to tears, and I enjoyed it greatly. It gives one hope that there is light up ahead, and that our world shouldn't be covered in darkness. Great job.

[pheasant]

I really like this one... it speaks of higher and better ways, and the personal struggles that many go through in order to believe that they are actually worthy of something great/greater, and how letting go of the past is many times an important key to moving forward. Looking forward to the sequels!

[kyrie]

Ah, My dear Mandeline. Can we cross? Will we ever be ready? Will we ever cross? Most times, I think you've gone much farther than I. Even so, I apologize for all the times you had to walk on your own. Maybe one day I can join you?

Now..... Those who sometimes show us the greatest truths of life and death, of Light and Dark, are the plainest and most forgettable people. Yet it's their spirits that we remember clearly, no matter what else. Angels are all around us. Wonderful job, my dear. Wonderful.

[Bella-Marie]

Why where you nervous? Just because it's long doesn't mean it's bad and I thought it was excellent. I liked the metaphors, the tunnels and things like that. Your friend is lucky to have you, a great writer, as a friend.