Who Knew

Who knew that her best friend would be such a killer.... Who knew that he was her next victim.

Johnny was my best friend
And one of the only friends I had.

He lived alone
In the brown house next door.

His mom and dad had died long ago
But nobody knows how...

I was the only friend of Johnny's
But I didn't know why...

Johnny was such a nice boy
And very handsome at that!

He had dark brown eyes
And wavy brown hair.

He was not too tall
But had a very muscular body.

He got pretty good grades
And all the teachers adored him.

Everyday Johnny and I would sit together
Eating our lunch.

We would talk about the latest pranks
And who would be our next victim.

I never thought that I
Would be on Johnny's list.

Until it happened
One day after school...

I had just gotten off the bus
And was heading for home.

Johnny was walking beside me
With his hands in his pockets.

His eyes were focused
And determined.

"Johnny, what are you thinking about?"
I asked curiously.

He looked up at me
His eyes filled with darkness

I felt fear
Go through my whole body

Johnny,
Never answered.

Instead he pulled out a gun
And aimed for my head.

Then it hit me
Like a sack of potatoes

Johnny had been the one
To murder his parents!

And now I,
His next victim!

Before I could tell him to stop
It was too late!

Johnny pulled the trigger
And bang!

Who knew that my best friend
Was a bloody killer...

Author's Note

Wrote this for a group. Its different I know. Something new!

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

I like it you write better than before I think it would nake a fine story

[A.Lee]

This is interesting. I think it would be better more written out. Making it more like a story. But if this is the particular style you were going for, then its fine that way too.

[Kristin Brecoe]

This definitely is interesting. I'd love to see it fleshed out a bit more.

Now before I turn too critical, I want to know if you mind that? I have some more feedback to give.

[zack]

wow this was a very cool and little crazy but it was cool nice job

[deeps]

This is wonderful, I enjoyed this write here.

[Haifa]

oh at first I thought it was poem but it is story. Well done

[Scarlet Pulse]

It is different, i think if this was a story it could have been much more detailed. It's a great plot. You give t he mysterious and terrifying feeling but leave a little suspense. I don't like the ending too much. It could be filled with a lot of details and descriptions. Im comparing this story to the other story you wrote, The Night I would Never forget (something along those lines). You were much more descriptive. But its a good start.

[Star Wolf]

Very frightening and disturbing!

[Tina Kline]

Quite a violent story in poem form but a very good one. I thought you did a great job on this.