Who Knew

Who knew that her best friend would be such a killer.... Who knew that he was her next victim.

Johnny was my best friend
And one of the only friends I had.

He lived alone
In the brown house next door.

His mom and dad had died long ago
But nobody knows how...

I was the only friend of Johnny's
But I didn't know why...

Johnny was such a nice boy
And very handsome at that!

He had dark brown eyes
And wavy brown hair.

He was not too tall
But had a very muscular body.

He got pretty good grades
And all the teachers adored him.

Everyday Johnny and I would sit together
Eating our lunch.

We would talk about the latest pranks
And who would be our next victim.

I never thought that I
Would be on Johnny's list.

Until it happened
One day after school...

I had just gotten off the bus
And was heading for home.

Johnny was walking beside me
With his hands in his pockets.

His eyes were focused
And determined.

"Johnny, what are you thinking about?"
I asked curiously.

He looked up at me
His eyes filled with darkness

I felt fear
Go through my whole body

Johnny,
Never answered.

Instead he pulled out a gun
And aimed for my head.

Then it hit me
Like a sack of potatoes

Johnny had been the one
To murder his parents!

And now I,
His next victim!

Before I could tell him to stop
It was too late!

Johnny pulled the trigger
And bang!

Who knew that my best friend
Was a bloody killer...

Author's Note

Wrote this for a group. Its different I know. Something new!

Reviews

[Havatara]

I loved it. Never expected that he would be a killer, considering he was a shown as a neutral kid with a neutral life that nobody really paid much attention to. Again, I loved it and you should write more like it.

[lamia]

interesting and new :)

[AbsentElements]

Yet again another interesting piece. Very entertaining.

[Bear]

WHO KNEW FOR SURE!!
Spooky for sure but, truthfully one never knows what my happen with those you trust and love.
Different for sure but, a FINE WRITE!!

[HorrorMaster]

Great killer story

[Satchmo's Gal]

I liked the poetry format with the story, but the flow wasn't very good. I like the plot though. Good job!

[Soul Magic✯]

wow you did a great job with this piece. very creative and intense storyline... wonderful talent with the ink

[rachielle]

My impression of this was that it was more of a poem than a story because of its format. I liked the twist you did on the plot, but I thought it would have been better (and more of a story) if you elaborated a bit more. For example, you could have shown how Johnny and the narrator became best friends, or what they did together, and so on. But it was a good write in general.:) it's nice to see you're experimenting on different types of literature. Keep it up!:)

[Alexis]

I like it...
The ending is a little shakky....
Like it kinda just ENDED...
Like it just fell off a cliff...
But i did like the beginning ALOT...

[kbjami]

I said this before, but take out "I'm dead"
Also maybe take out the last stanza.

Also "It him me then" That sounds awkward and I'm not sure what you're trying to say. He pointed the gun at him and then you?

Well still a very good story. I liked how it was put together. Good job and really do consinder taking out what I said.