Just when I think I have found everything, God has to go and change things. I dont know what I want or even what I need. All I know is that I'm confused and supposedly falling in love
Oh God please Dont do this to me
Just when I think I have found the one
You have to go and Change things around
I thought I knew What exactly I wanted
What I needed And loved most
But now... Its all just a blur
Oh God please Dont do this
I beg of you Please dont
I cant have you Playing with my heart
I am not capable Of loving everyone
I especially cant be falling in love With my very best friend
I have to vent. I have to write this out. I just dont know what to do! I cant be feeling this way! Especially with HIM! Oh dear lord! Well I hope you like this piece! And if you dont I am so sorry. I dont feel like this is one of my best pieces but I just needed to let it out... I dont know about the ending. It seems ok for now but I want to know what you think bout it. If you dont like it then dont rate! Please...! Just give your advice or comments! I am trying to raise my status! Thanks =)
My Review
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The ending got me. I wanted to know more. I'm not sure "I already have" is a bold enough statement to twist the end or not, but I do get the sense that it tells a part of the story. Overall, I really like the poem. Would you rate mine?
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/luckylifetwo/529960/
This is a very emotional poem. You could focus on your form a little more. recently all of your poem are couplets. The poem I commented on was interesting in this form because it was between two people not wanting to be separated but is separated so it played a coincidental role too. I also like how you're conversing with God. Good job.
I so agree with this! Anyway, I think it was great. You know, you don't HAVE to have 2 lines per stanza, right? It would be nice to see you mix it up every once in a while. But I did like it. It's not as bad as you think!
I liked how much emotion you put into this, and the fact that it's not something you're faking makes it even easier to relate to for the reader. The best writing comes from personal experience, I always say. :D
This discusses so honestly the confusion one experiences when the world seems to change.. our hopes or expectations dashed... alterered.. Powerful words...
Hello! My names Manda. I am 24 years of age and have an Associate of Arts degree. I am a former National Honors Society member and am hoping to continue my education by starting my Bachelors degree in.. more..