I dont care about flow, grammar or any typos for that matter. This is happening to me right now. And I am really hurting inside. I just needed to write something...
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I understand the need to write something... I have something I'm working on right now :D Just a bunch of words thrown together atm, but it's getting better haha.
I loved this piece! I felt your hurt. Constant rhetorical questions really get a point across, in any kind of writing. This is one reason why I dont want to date in HS. All of the guys are immature and have no clue how to handle a relationship maturely and tenderly. Aghghghrlglrlglroglroglghghghgh MEN! (that was a frustrated growl, I think... haha!) Only the good men understand your feelings. Find that man. CLING TO HIM and dont let him go :D
I loved this, and i'm sorry you're going through something like this. I'm here, open ears, if you need any help! [or someone just to rant to :)]
Wow. This is such a heartfelt piece. I understand your need of writing about what you feel. Continue doing that and you'll definitely get amazing pieces such as this.
I feel for you. Relationships can be heaven and they can be hell. And, oh, how they can hurt and how they can wound and destroy when they go all wrong!
I understand the need to write something... I have something I'm working on right now :D Just a bunch of words thrown together atm, but it's getting better haha.
I loved this piece! I felt your hurt. Constant rhetorical questions really get a point across, in any kind of writing. This is one reason why I dont want to date in HS. All of the guys are immature and have no clue how to handle a relationship maturely and tenderly. Aghghghrlglrlglroglroglghghghgh MEN! (that was a frustrated growl, I think... haha!) Only the good men understand your feelings. Find that man. CLING TO HIM and dont let him go :D
I loved this, and i'm sorry you're going through something like this. I'm here, open ears, if you need any help! [or someone just to rant to :)]
Very sorry if you don't care, but the grammar is what you need to work on. Not the word usage per se, but the punctuation. Instead of describing it I'll just retype it:
"Why are you acting like this?
You are making me cry.
The words you say
Just break my heart.
I love you,
Yet you refuse to believe it.
Do you think I would lie to you?
I would rather die for you
Than do something like that.
I don't understand why you are so mad,
Or why you are yelling at me.
I thought you loved me.
I thought you believe in me,
Knowing I would never lie.
But everything you had said to me,
Well, was it all just a lie?
Did you plan this?
Were you hoping to get to me?
Whatever you did,
It worked.
I dont know why you are acting like this,
But its hurting me inside
And making me cry.
I never felt so broken
And so hurt inside.
Every tear that falls,
Falls because of you
I hate you,
Yet I can't help but miss you.
You were everything to me,
And you were the only one
I ever loved."
I noticed that you put "but yet" in a couple of places, and if you have "yet" you don't need to have "but." Also you were putting in commas where you didn't need to have them, and there were even a few places that you had a question mark instead of a period. These little things do count!
However, I did like what you were expressing. It's terrible when someone thinks you're lying when you aren't, and they leave you for that. Besides the grammatical errors, this was very well written.
There isn't much I can say if you don't care about the flow, grammar of any typos. that being said when you feel you can look at this poem and analysis it I say add details. Try varying or using different words that are commonly used over and over again. It is a good poem. It just needs polished.
Hello! My names Manda. I am 24 years of age and have an Associate of Arts degree. I am a former National Honors Society member and am hoping to continue my education by starting my Bachelors degree in.. more..