Sadness and Pain

A girl who remembers it all. When he said goodbye. She feels so much pain and has cried so much but she continues to miss him. She knows he is not coming back. They both know its over... And thats what hurts her the most...

From the time you said goodbye
There were tears
There was fear
And I was alone…

I had nothing left
Nothing to hold
Nothing to kiss
Simply nothing to love

It hurts me terribly
I suffer such a loss
You were perfect
And you simply knew how to love me

Never have a felt happiness
Until I met you
You made me think of myself as beautiful
For once I felt important
Nobody had ever loved me the way you did

I was so madly in love
My very first kiss was spent with you
That fine rainy day
The touch of your lips on mine
As the rain was pouring down
It sent an electric current to my heart
Making it beat to the sound of our love

Everytime I saw you
I always used to jump up with glee
When I was next to you I was comforted
The warmth of your body on mine soothed me
You hugged me so gently like I was the most fragile thing on the planet

But when you left
It wasn’t the same
I was not warm but always freezing cold
I was never happy just miserable
I never jumped with glee instead I would cry

I cried for weeks…
I constantly was wiping the tears away from my face
My face now dry from all the tears
I had sleepless nights and because of it…
My eyes were baggy and my hair looked like hell

I thought life was hopeless
That there was just no point to anything anymore
And there wasn’t because all I felt was sadness and pain
I never had gone through such a heart break before

So I hid away…
I stayed home
Laid in bed for days
Keeping my blinds shut and the sun out
I did absolutely nothing
Except cry and feel horrible

I didn’t talk to anyone
I simply shut everyone out
I couldn’t let people see me like this
I was simply a mess
I didn’t want people to see how hurt I was
I didn’t want them to feel like hell too

The worst thing I hate about all of this
Is that I loved to sincerely
That after all this pain I still…
Continue to think about you
Even after all these dreadful days
Of crying and being alone
I still think of you and…
The love that didn’t last

I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye
Wasn’t ready to give up the fight
Instead you did
And that is why….
I am hurting so bad
Because you took me by surprise
And left me and everything else behind…

Author's Note

I dont know how good this is... Tell me what you think please

Reviews

[Bullet Soul]

I have a couple things to say about this poem. I always hate pointing out negative things about a piece of writing, because my writing isn't perfect either, but I'm simply going to state my point of view here (hopefully that's okay!).

The thing I liked about this poem was that the emotion is completely relatable. Everyone has felt or will feel like this sometime in their lifetime.

The one thing I think could improve your poem, is adding a bit more emotion. Not just the general feelings behind heartbreak: anger, fear, insecurity, depression, etc. Change the way we look at heartbreak. For example, I think the reader would feel your heartbreak even more if you introduced the love to them. What did you love about this person? How did you feel when suddenly, that picture perfect love was torn from your hands. Lost, alone, scared, betrayed are words way too commonly used when writing about heartbreak. Don't stick to only words you are familiar with. Expand your writing. Search your soul - remember your first heartbreak - what else did you feel, besides those obvious usual emotions? I guess what I mean is - what made your particular heartbreak worth writing about. What made it heart wrenching, what made it UNIQUE?

Many people have written about heartbreak. The key to making your poem about heartbreak memorable, is introducing us to emotions so torturous we never thought they could be felt.

Sorry if all that was completely confusing! I really did enjoy reading your work :)

[Silere]

Once again.. you write so well from the heart.. it's like feeling exactly what you're feeling at the time you wrote this.. very well done. Thank you for sharing!

[deeps]

I like it, It's a very emotional heartfelt write.
I find it kind of touching that you can write like this.
Be out in the open with yoru feelings like this.
Very well expressed!

[bubbles]

i did realy like it and i agree with 'A Walk On The Moon' exept that everyone has or will feel the same. i believe everyone experience is different and make people feel different but they will prob feel smiler at some point. but plz dont aim for them. take ur emotions and put them down. then they are moor likely to be able to relate

good work but i know u can do better. keep it up

[Ama May Cooper]

Ok the storyline is good.. infact its ace.. there isnt much to connect with tho its more like a run off informaton lacking emoton in way.
But its nice, and flows quite well

[Jess.]

I like the changes you made to this, alot of the lines I can relate with...
"That after all this pain I still�
Continue to think about you"
But that one the most....oh how I know that feeling all too well :/

[Jess.]

I like it, its a very good write, and tells the story of how many girls feel after a break.