Alwyn's Piano

 

A red light glows

While Chopin plays

The harlequin of glass and grass

And all my thoughts on ivory

And  poet’s wine lopsides

On the reverberating maple

And drips to leave a stain

On your second-hand piano

And Tassenbergian idealisms

An egg-shaped sentiment was played

And all the while those make-shift notes

Had tasted like your name

Reviews

[stipe]

die wulfstan did is reg, scheme ek. Cool s**t!
maar bedoel jy dalk "reverberating" en Tassenbergian"

Much love

[Wulfstan Crumble]

Hello Lucia, I really liked the theme and imagery of your poem. You have painted a beautiful picture with words. The title led me to Wales but then you danced across music as a whole. i do not know if you are ok with suggestions for the form of the poem or not. Ive had a few bad experiences from giving advice. I thought that if you wish to revise the poem any time (say for publication) then perhaps adding some commas to indicate the flow and perhaps cut down on the Ands... at the beginning of some of the sentences would make it even better (just a case of flow rather than quality - the quality is assured).