Melancholy

the poem is about how a person cant let go of the person they love.

Yes, I am selfish

Yes, I don’t want you to fly

Where you will see beautiful colors filling the opulent sky and enjoy the sweet songs

Sung by the birds and sleep in peace.

Cause through that I can see me

Cooking by myself

Sleeping by myself

Living in the world of chaos which was perfect before you left me.

I see this nightmare every day and night

It feels as if I am trapped inside this octavarium

Everybody around me thinks that I have gone mad

They say ‘he’s gone, move on’

But they don’t know that you're still here,

That I have not let go of your soul so close to my heart

Still calming my anger when things go wrong

Still surrounding me with warmth after a long day

Still making me mad when you don’t agree with me

Still giving me butterflies when you touch me

Still…..

Author's Note

i have just started writing and i would love if you would review!

Reviews

[G]

I sense a fear of change for the subject of the Poem the unknown holds no certainty, they depended on this person heavily and may still do, there's comfort in what they know and fear in what they don't

A good write, powerful feelings with a sense of vulnerability. Keep writing 🙂

[Malvika]

Thank you! For sharing your opinion

[Sergei]

Line 11: it should be "thinks" not "think"
Line 13: that should be "you're" not "your"

Other than those mistakes, I liked the poem. You say you're just starting out, and, if that's the case, this is a really good start. The resentment we feel towards a loved one leaving us is not a new subject for poetry, however, so you might want to take that into account next time? Maybe refrain from using cliched imagery, or taking a cliche and twisting it a bit to add your own flavour of originality - birds singing sweet songs, holding someone in your heart, butterflies, etc.

Keep writing! I did enjoy this.

[Malvika]

Thank you for your detailed analysis and guidance that encourages me for improvisation

[Airafh]

very well written especially thefirst five lines and i liked the way you ended - 'still.' I loved your poem, it came deep from your heart. But now let go, take the time out to see beautiful colors filling the opulent sky and enjoy the sweet songs
Sung by the birds and sleep in peace.
i wish you good luck keep writing

[Malvika]

Thank you! for the review