I see us slowly drifting apart losing your face and it breaks my heart my mind is muddy with thoughts of you Knowing there's nothing that I can do I stretch out my hand but its too far a reach ... Once upon a time, I held on like a leech. I wanna live in your arms I wanna scream (out), "Don't leave" Whats the worst part of love?.... its attempt to deceive. To make you feel secure... and then one day dissolve. And leave you with problems that can't be resolved. After all that you've done- I never got to choose So just leave me the valentine with the bruise. Spilling the pain through my pen So wrecked...so wrong...never again.
Good stuff thank-you...! so well put whats the worst part of love ..? its attempt to deceive .. u pretty much summed up a whole lot in 10 words .... love this site its like you peeped into how i am feeling and wrote it for me :) thats raw emotion truth right there at its finest and thats what makes incredible writing .... thank-you again
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much! Glad to know there are people connecting to what I'm feeling as well. It definite.. read moreThank you so much! Glad to know there are people connecting to what I'm feeling as well. It definitely makes it worthwhile to know I'm not alone and for others to know that they are not alone. I really appreciate your review!
11 Years Ago
yea.. why is that? it makes us feel a little better to know your not alone in feeling this heartache.. read moreyea.. why is that? it makes us feel a little better to know your not alone in feeling this heartache deep pain of the worst kind in my eyes .. that i wouldn't want anyone to have to go through yet it comforts me to see that a beautiful minded talented writer like yourself and others who share there real truths here are experiencing this horrible feeling.... camaraderie through terrible pain ..lol.... truly makes me feel comfortable.... enough to share my deepest vaulted wounds .. :) ...
Its not easy to go through such a sad scenario and its not always easy to summerize it all in words. The flow made it easy to read and the last line really fit well and has impact. You did well on this.
Good stuff thank-you...! so well put whats the worst part of love ..? its attempt to deceive .. u pretty much summed up a whole lot in 10 words .... love this site its like you peeped into how i am feeling and wrote it for me :) thats raw emotion truth right there at its finest and thats what makes incredible writing .... thank-you again
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much! Glad to know there are people connecting to what I'm feeling as well. It definite.. read moreThank you so much! Glad to know there are people connecting to what I'm feeling as well. It definitely makes it worthwhile to know I'm not alone and for others to know that they are not alone. I really appreciate your review!
11 Years Ago
yea.. why is that? it makes us feel a little better to know your not alone in feeling this heartache.. read moreyea.. why is that? it makes us feel a little better to know your not alone in feeling this heartache deep pain of the worst kind in my eyes .. that i wouldn't want anyone to have to go through yet it comforts me to see that a beautiful minded talented writer like yourself and others who share there real truths here are experiencing this horrible feeling.... camaraderie through terrible pain ..lol.... truly makes me feel comfortable.... enough to share my deepest vaulted wounds .. :) ...
I love the title of this piece and also your rhyming that you used. Such wonderful imagery and raw emotions that you chooses to express to us readers. Like, you aren't afraid but wish to tell. Falling in love isn't a pretty thing anymore, not how it used to be. No more fairy tale endings or such things as "true love". We must take love and make with it what we can. We cannot control others feelings and actions, but we can definitely control our own when the time comes right.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you again for your kind words. You seem to connect to this poem and that makes me happy. To m.. read moreThank you again for your kind words. You seem to connect to this poem and that makes me happy. To me that is the point of sharing what you write...knowing that someone will feel the impact of "the pain through your pen".
11 Years Ago
Yeah, exactly! And yes, I could definitely relate to this piece and the wrenching heartache. Your wo.. read moreYeah, exactly! And yes, I could definitely relate to this piece and the wrenching heartache. Your words are simply beautiful and inspiring to me. I'm glad we can relate on such a level. But yeah, that the reason why I write, to show people the pain through my pen and how they aren't alone and could be able to have someone to relate to and connect with.
I'm not the world's biggest fan of the rhyming poem, but this one was pretty good...the rhymes didn't feel forced. And props for managing to use the word "leech" in a piece without making me shudder *laugh* It was a really good analogy, powerful. Thanks for sharing your work with us.
-kimmer
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you for the support. I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
*I'm Malerie, obviously a writer.
*I'm going to college with a major in jourmalism and a minor in psychology.
*My hobbies/interests include: writing, reading,, makeup, interior decorating, study.. more..