Poems and Papercuts

xoxoxo from September/October 2009

Poems and Papercuts

I see us slowly drifting apart
losing your face and it breaks my heart
my mind is muddy with thoughts of you
Knowing there's nothing that I can do
I stretch out my hand
but its too far a reach
... Once upon a time,
I held on like a leech.
I wanna live in your arms
I wanna scream (out), "Don't leave"
Whats the worst part of love?....
its attempt to deceive.
To make you feel secure...
and then one day dissolve.
And leave you with problems that can't be resolved.
After all that you've done- I never got to choose
So just leave me the valentine with the bruise.
Spilling the pain through my pen
So wrecked...so wrong...never again.

Reviews

[Rayree Parker]

Good stuff thank-you...! so well put whats the worst part of love ..? its attempt to deceive .. u pretty much summed up a whole lot in 10 words .... love this site its like you peeped into how i am feeling and wrote it for me :) thats raw emotion truth right there at its finest and thats what makes incredible writing .... thank-you again

[Twizzler]

Thank you so much! Glad to know there are people connecting to what I'm feeling as well. It definitely makes it worthwhile to know I'm not alone and for others to know that they are not alone. I really appreciate your review!

[Rayree Parker]

yea.. why is that? it makes us feel a little better to know your not alone in feeling this heartache deep pain of the worst kind in my eyes .. that i wouldn't want anyone to have to go through yet it comforts me to see that a beautiful minded talented writer like yourself and others who share there real truths here are experiencing this horrible feeling.... camaraderie through terrible pain ..lol.... truly makes me feel comfortable.... enough to share my deepest vaulted wounds .. :) ...

[Michael G. Smith]

Love the scheme of the poem but, sounds like one sided love.

[Relic]

Its not easy to go through such a sad scenario and its not always easy to summerize it all in words. The flow made it easy to read and the last line really fit well and has impact. You did well on this.

[Twizzler]

Thank you again :)

[I Am Svetlana]

I love the title of this piece and also your rhyming that you used. Such wonderful imagery and raw emotions that you chooses to express to us readers. Like, you aren't afraid but wish to tell. Falling in love isn't a pretty thing anymore, not how it used to be. No more fairy tale endings or such things as "true love". We must take love and make with it what we can. We cannot control others feelings and actions, but we can definitely control our own when the time comes right.

[Twizzler]

Thank you again for your kind words. You seem to connect to this poem and that makes me happy. To me that is the point of sharing what you write...knowing that someone will feel the impact of "the pain through your pen".

[I Am Svetlana]

Yeah, exactly! And yes, I could definitely relate to this piece and the wrenching heartache. Your words are simply beautiful and inspiring to me. I'm glad we can relate on such a level. But yeah, that the reason why I write, to show people the pain through my pen and how they aren't alone and could be able to have someone to relate to and connect with.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

sad departing sorrowful heart now living apart

[NaugleB]

Very well written, I really enjoyed reading this. Good job

[Twizzler]

Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading.

[Everett DeValle]

I enjoyed reading the emotions in your write in a lovely rhyme scheme...and Love sucks...overall, poignant.

[Twizzler]

Yeah, It sure can. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

[Everett DeValle]

You are very welcome, Twizzler.

~Ev

[Steven]

There is something nice and natural about your rhymes, even though they're obvious. I liked this.

[Twizzler]

I appreciate your comment. Thank you.

[rnuff]

Full of amazing emotion,
like the rhyme scheme.

[Twizzler]

That is so nice to hear. Thank you!

[KAOlmsted]

Ah, "never again"...famous last words ;-)

I'm not the world's biggest fan of the rhyming poem, but this one was pretty good...the rhymes didn't feel forced. And props for managing to use the word "leech" in a piece without making me shudder *laugh* It was a really good analogy, powerful. Thanks for sharing your work with us.

-kimmer

[Twizzler]

Thank you for the support. I appreciate you taking the time to read it.

[KAOlmsted]

It's my pleasure.