Heart of Broken Glass

A letter from the short story "The Abandoned Child" asking for forgiveness, confessing sins and the realisation of a great failure.

To Nate,


I'm not really sure how to do this. I'm your father, Jack. I know you don't know me & that's my fault, I wish I had made more of an effort to be with you, to watch you grow. I'm sorry for failing you, I should have protected you & helped you grow into a strong man.


I love you so much & I miss you so much, it eats away at me & the pain is unbearable. I can't stop thinking about how I've fucked up in the past, I'm a complete failure and I failed in my duty as a father and husband.


Had you been in my place, would you have made the same mistakes as me? I smoke all the time, my lungs are probably all black. I drink every day, my liver and lung must be rotten. I've done bad things, hurt people, people that loved & cared about me. I'm alone cause I didn't know how to be normal, I've pushed others away and never found anyone else to lead me in the right direction. My life is empty, heart's shattered, I thought being strong means being able to beat others but it's not.


The reason I'm writing to you is, I don't want you to end up like me. I finally know what fear is, to see you become me or feel what I feel. Whatever you've done in life it ain't as bad as me &  you still have time to make things right. I only hope you're stronger than me, that you're loyal & sensible. Nate, don't waste the life you have fighting, respect the will of others whilst believing in your own.


I feel like s**t, I should have been there for you, I need you to know I didn't want to abandon you, I swear to you I wish I could go back in time. I can't help but wonder, do you hate me or would you know I love you? I know this ain't fair on you, I'm so sorry my boy, please all I want is forgiveness. I know when I die I'm going straight to hell, I can't redeem my soul, I just need you to know I love you & I'm sorry.


Don't you grow up to be like me, learn from my mistakes, be better than me, have a family, be a good father & husband. Never give up on your dreams, always believe you'll succeed. I promise I'll come back to you and I will do right by you from now on. I'll protect you and look after you, I'll never leave your side again.


Love you so much my son,
                                    Dad

Reviews

[Philip Muls]

Very raw and authentic. I like what you say about the father now understanding fear for the first time. Right on the mark.

Well done. Could you review me.

[Krizito]

If only we could turn back time...IF ONLY.
Both pieces were amazing...

[Malcolm Reynolds]

Thanks, these pieces are something I'd be looking to explore in greater depth in the future.