Solitude

A life of solitude
The life promised to those with the gift of Words
We....
Feel as we write
We....
Paint as we read
We Feel
.....

A life of solitude
The life promised to those with the gift of Words
To us;
Wind are hands
Knives are pleasure
Smile is a drug
Life is death..

A life of solitude
The life promised to those with the gift of Words
Cursed I say,
We are cursed
Cursed to see the world in a unnatural spectrum
Cursed to see the hidden things
Cursed to be different

A life of solitude
The life promised to those with the gift of Words
A life promised to ME...

Author's Note

Please be brutally honest. I know I'm a bit amateurish, so criticism would be awesome so I can improve.

Reviews

[Shy Girl]

I think this is splendid...you are voicing from deep within you. Feelings that nobody gets or is getting the right understanding of how you (this character) is feeling. So they feel alone. Excellent read..Enjoyed it very much. I'm not one to give criticism ever...it takes guts to just let people know how you feel much less write them down and allow strangers, for the most part, to know and see you open and exposed. So Bravo to you for every letter you pen and post :)

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is amazing. A true writer who give all to their writing. Give up a lot. I like the way you used the repetition. You gave balance and strength to the poem. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Aarontastic]

First of all, let me say that I love the concept behind your poem: you'd think that writers writing about writing would be a pretty common thing, but this poem is only one of a handful that I've found relating to that subject. Writing about writing is like meta-writing XD it's very fundamental and personal.

Stereotypically, a lot of people see writers as a solitary lot, and many of us view ourselves that way. Although it isn't true for all writers in the most familiar sense of the word, it is true for me, so I found myself agreeing with a lot of what you wrote: I am different, I see the world in a different way, etc. I like to look at them as blessings instead of curses :p Who wants to be oblivious to all of the irony and drama in life, right?

Anyways. The poem. Like I said, your idea was cool; the execution leaves some to be desired imo.

The first stanza was solid. It lacked imagery and metaphor, which most people associate with poetry, but that is just because the style of this particular piece is different. It has a very whimsical and reflective tone, like a reverie. You convey your ideas well without having to use many words. I especially liked the line about "painting as we read", because I think that's a perfect description for writers, since we usually are more...'involved' readers.

The second stanza had some grammatical errors that marred my enjoyment of it. 'To us' should be followed by a colon or comma instead of a semi-colon if you want to punctuate that, but that's a minor gripe. More seriously, these lines:

"Wind are hands
Knives are pleasure
Smile is a drug"

Don't have subject-verb agreement. It would have to be "Winds are hands", or "wind is a hand", for instance. Because it was not, it was awkward for me to read. I see that you were trying to use paradoxes to illustrate just how writers are different from non-writers, but I don't think the ones that you used really showed any contrast. Can't non-writers feel that a smile is like a drug? I would think so. I liked what you were going for here; using paradoxes was a good idea, but I feel like you could have used ones that more clearly make the link between writers seeing/interpreting every day things differently than non-writers.

The 3rd stanza is decent; it hasn't got any errors and it's full of truth. But I think that the repetition of "curse/cursed" is detrimental to it - to have five lines in a row with the same word in it is tough to pull off in a short poem, so I think it would be better if you used some synonyms instead and re-arranged those verses structurally.

And I liked the way you ended it with the last stanza, it was really nice to see you own up to being a writer at the end of it. It kind of strikes a tone of defiance, since you are equating the idiosyncrasies of a writer's life with a curse, and then saying 'yeah, all this is promised to me'.

Overall, I think this was a cool idea for a poem, but the execution could be just a bit better.

[r. f. jordan]

"A life of solitude
The life promised to those with the gift of Words"

i appreciate the repetition in those lines, and they are well written. i also appreciate the centered text and the font maneuvering. sometimes i've been known to take the repeating lines, set them as title, and then remove them from the rest of the text. if it were me, though, and i were going to try that idea, i would leave in the set in the last stanza.
you are asking for feedback, so i'll offer ideas. by the way, we're all amateurs! regardless, this is a well-written piece. i most appreciate the image of the unnatural spectrum. well done.

[K.C. Zbryk]

I dont know if i would describe this as amature writing. The thought that went into this is absolutly amazing, and the feeling this captured left me speechless. Each stanza caught a different aspect of a writier and highlights it perfectly. If anything i think you should just keep writing. I have no criticism for this piece. You will grow the more you write and you will begin to realize what it is you need to focus on. But i think if you can keep the passion that is in this piece you will be extremely successful. Just keep your questions observations and theories and write the out. Thank you for your contribution.

[Southern Cross]

We do feel.. even in solitude..when we read words flow like rivers such as yours have. I feel the intensity of your soul as you type. Being different because we see things most take for granted is never a curse ..it is a gift. Exposure to our hearts and souls destroys our solitude and allows others to enter. Beautiful raw emotions.

[rivers]

Amateurish? Hardly...Savor you inner strength and speak with your heart...you are evolving... I have been reading each new work, we are all evolving in continuous motion...When I think about it I could exchange the word blessing with every curse. It's only interchangeable perspective IMHO... Embrace the gifts of imperfection.
You are shining your light, Makaveli...Shine on...

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I can relate completely to this. Solitude helps me produce the gift of words that have been blessed with. When others will not leave me alone, I find it hard to write, but still I would die trying. This is awesome

[Sleeping Maiden]

Extremely spectacular and delightfuly splendid if i may say! I really loved how you captured this poem with your words. =) I believe we all, writers, can relate to this. Stunning! And i feel you on this. Words have such an impact on us - it can take our breath away or leave us at a loss... well done with this piece! Well done!

[Khal Attero]

I feel you bro, this poem probably describes everyone with the talent of writing. Alot of people describe solitude as a bad thing, I do not, and I can sense you do not too. I like to be sometimes lonely, it gives me time to think about some things in my life, it gives me strenth, it gives me hope, it gives me the great prosper of art. And your writing is amazing. I would't compare you to an amateur! And your poetry can be easily be lyrics for a melodic, beautiful piece of music. Hails to you my fellow writer!