To A Thief - Chapter 1: Stiff, the Thief

A Chapter by Jobyn

It all begins with a mischievous young man..

"I'll take that!" Stiff exclaimed with a laugh as he grabbed a meat mithkabob from the counter of the Shephard's Muster tavern, bolting for the door.

"HEY! Get back here you little scrote!" The elvaan lady behind the counter shouted angrily as she watched this punk teenager run off with her client's order. "THIEF!!"

Heads turned from all directions as the young hume man ran out of the tavern and jumped over the stone steps leading down- skipping them by three's. He made his way towards the exit of Selbina; this warm, small fishing port town that resided on the ocean's shore.

My name is Stiff. I may seem like a bad guy, but I'm not, honest! I'm just really hungry. You see, I have just come from a long trip from the woodsy Tarutaru and Mithran city of Windurst after leaving- or rather- being kicked out of my orphanage upon turning sixteen. To be honest, I think they were glad to get rid of me but I was glad to leave them! Nothing left for me there. So what did I do? I decided to get the hell out of there and move onto bigger, better things!

Lucky for me, the orphanage gave me a few supplies and a map of the region to get me started on my own. Needless to say, I was already lost the moment I stepped out the door, so the first thing I did with the money they gave me was pig out on some meat mithkabobs at the Timber Timbre's tavern. It's okay, I still have some left. I was able to get a few hundred gil from an animated cardian doll thanks to an adventurer coupon I was also supplied with. Yeah, they got coupons for that!

"FREEZE!" A small voice called out as Stiff's legs were suddenly covered in ice, binding him to the ground just in front of the exit.

"AH-AH! Cold!" He cried out. "Couldn't you just use a bind spell, Moku!? You're cruel..."

A small tarutaru wearing a black hooded robe wobbled over to Stiff with an unpleasant glare.

"You deserved it. What did I tell you about stealing from people? I know you have a particular addiction to meat mithkabobs, but that doesn't give you the right to go around taking them. In this world, you work and pay for your food like an honest man!" The taru scolded.

"I can't help it! With a job profession like Thief, it comes to me naturally..."

This tiny but scary tarutaru that almost turned me into a hume popsicle is Moku. I met him yesterday back in Windurst before I set out on my grand adventure after having eaten those yummy mithkabobs. We're a rather unlikely pair, but the reason I'm here with him is because he owes me. He had been fishing off the edge of some wooden catwalk in Windurst Waters and managed to reel in my map after casting his line backwards at me... it could have been worse- he could have gotten my eye. Anyway, after threatening to drown him in the water, he offered to take me wherever I wanted to go. As awkward as I feel accepting such generosity rather than taking it, I accepted his offer!

You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, but he's actually really powerful. On our way here from the ferry, we were invaded by undead pirates and- well, I'll just save that for another time. Let's just say I was left to swab the deck of left-over bone marrow...

"Professional Thief my butt-taru! A real thief in this world would know to steal only from the enemy!" Moku scolded the young man.

"What if everyone's my enemy!?" Stiff retorted curtly before noticing all the hostile glares being shot at him from all corners of Selbina. "Er... just kidding, hehe."

"I'm sorry, Miss. Here's a little extra for your troubles. Oh, and say hello to Sukiya for me, please!" Moku told the elvaan woman from before, handing her some gil for the order as well as Stiff's ruckus. He blushed upon mentioning the name 'Sukiya'.

"Thank you, Sir Moku. I shall relay your words when she's come in for her shift." The elvaan lady smiled, giving one last nasty look at Stiff before walking back into the Shephard's Muster tavern.

"Hmph..." Stiff frowned at her, placing the mithkabob in his mouth and chewing on the first piece of steak at the tip. It was chewy- but tough, juicy and delicious! "What's the big deal, anyway? It's just one mithkabob. Also, aren't you a little too young to be having a lover?"

"I'm twenty years old! And Sukiya isn't my lover...! Why you-" Moku snapped his head back to look at Stiff. Giving a drawn out sigh, he unfroze Stiff's legs with a simple fire spell and made his way over to the stable at the left of the exit to pet his chocobo. "You have to behave more, Stiff. You're not going to make any friends if you keep acting like that... and friends are essential in the life of an adventurer. You won't get anywhere without them, trust me."

"Ahh, save the lectures for training Moku! I'm ready to hit the road. Let's get outta' here!" Stiff grinned, waving his hand in the air. "Besides, me and you are friends now whether you like it or not... so I'm going to mooch off you like crazy. Thanks for the mithkabob, by the way. Omnomnom."

Moku lowered his little tarutaru shoulders and shook his head, turning and giving a helpless smile. "Yes, we are friends now, unfortunately for me. Now come help me saddle Boku up. We'll be arriving at San d'Oria in about an hour once we depart. We're an hour late as it is... Draven is going to be edgy when we get there."

Stiff smirked playfully, tipping the end of the mithkabob between his teeth and going over to Moku and his chocobo. He hadn't ridden a bird before, so this was bound to be fun. "Alright! Those elvaan girls are going to be all over me. Pleasure Thief, at your service."

"That sounds so wrong.. what the hell is that anyway? Being pleasured and robbed- you know what- forget I asked. Off we go!"

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Moku's a good guy. I like him. We make good friends, don't you think?

Anyway, off we go riding through the hot, blinding-white sands of Valkurm Dunes on to our next destination! Tune in next time on Chapter 2: Pondering of Pirates

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