Paralyzed

Listening to Comatose by Skillet and Just came to me.

I lay here,

Paralyzed.

Wishing I could say,

"Please don't worry".

Because,

You all look to me,

With worry -

And shock.

I can see through your masks.

I can see through your guards.

I can see through your eyes,

Right down to your souls.

I can see the pain you think you're in.

I can see your thoughts,

All written across your faces.

I lay here comatose.

I lay here motionless.

I lay here numb.

I lay here silently.

I lay here,

Paralyzed.

Reviews

[Marie Harrison]

I really like this poem. I've had several friends and relatives that have been in comas for a long amount of time. When they wake-up, this is what most of them describe to me. They remember people brushing their hair, people talking to them, people massaging their feet. It's a great poem, in my opinion.

[Cherrie Palmer]

you trailed through the path of pain in a sorrowful and graceful way

[Midnight_Mask]

I love the slow, kind of relaxed flow of the poem. Repeated lines (with different words at the end) emphasises the meaning to the reader, showing the importance of it.
Great write, Keep it up! =D
(And Skillet are awesome) ^.^

[The_Dreamer]

The feeling of being seperated and unable to respond seems to show in the repetition of the word "I" in majority of the lines. The short phrases, so fragmented, seems to give me an impression of a person unable to speak and in pain... but that is just a notion of mine, im not much of a poetry understand-er

[[KL]]

I like the message that you are trying to get across here.. I also like the use of blank verse, that's what makes this a good poem. The repetition in the last stanza is good too. But I think it could maybe be better if it were to consist entirely of monosyllabic words, like lines 18 and 20. Still, a good write here, thanks for sharing.
[SKU]

[Kira]

I feel paralyzed sometimes...comatose and numb. This poem is like a dark version of a classic novel: something I read and know has a deeper meaning, but I barely understand.+

[Jong Schrijver]

Great poem and I like the way the poem flows and the rythym

[GrownUpTime]

wow. its so well put togeather. love it!

[Martina]

Amazing!
this is amazing,
well done, good flow of words
great job, I like it. :)
100/100

[Amelia Harris]

I love that album! Skillet is great! Sorry, too distracted :P Great write. Very thought provoking. Good job!!