In search of an alcoholic

Are you not tired of all the he saids and she saids because ultimately what matters is what you said but what you said went over his head and went over her head so you said I won't bother saying anything if what I say is always overshadowed by what they say and even though you had your secrets to share you sewn your lips shut because you felt that what you said mattered little. 

And the sun also seems to have something to say but you do not know what language it speaks so it shines incessantly onto your thought table without asking your permission or maybe it is asking but, you cannot answer for your lips are sealed. 

And life begins where you end yourself is what they say always what the say even the walls of your bedroom echo what they say and you think that what you say is neglected even by the walls that surround you but you end up saying it regardless for us humans always feel the need to say, something, anything, to feel valued but you say to yourself that you do not speak to feel valued but because you have something of value to say but, you know that you are lying to yourself. 

And the girl with lucid blue eyes or the girl in the bright blue jeans or the girl with jet black hair are all the same have always been the same and the sun shines on them also for they too are part of the apparatus that clutters your brain, and he says to declutter the mess in your head that it will only take space that you could leave empty and stare at and she says not to replace your old thoughts with new ones and they say and they say and they say. 

And they say that you can find god in the bottle that god himself or herself is most likely an alcoholic so they say drink up and you drink 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 because that is how many sips it takes to find god and then you see god as a sad baby frog and you are happy because he/she is still alive but barely breathing and then you realize that god is teetering, tired, alone, gasping for company, longing for air, teetering on the edge of an uncertain death.