A Daughter's Courage

A Daughter’s Courage

10/29/2008

 

AFTER:

Do I have the courage to wrap my arms around these hollow sheets?

As sorrow creeps to the rhythm of my breathing

Will I have the courage to soak in the strength my father had?

Facts sharpen my eyes as my legs race to touch his face

I failed the moment my wings touched the ground

I couldn’t catch up to his soul

God then whispered… lighting my way to the funeral home

Tears choke my spine as I sign my daddy away

BEFORE:

The smell of human flesh became the aroma for mid October

Taking time to define what just happened

I scroll down to my knees

My daddy lie helplessly in my brother arms

Crying painfully, for he couldn’t rest his eyes

I rocked back, realizing I’m not there

To lie a kiss upon my daddy's cheek

To hold my brother as we weep together 

BEFORE:

This overwhelming feeling sickens within me

 I began to rot down to the very bone

Drying up every teardrop that leaked through the floorboard

Soaking up the very lint that clings to the death of my father shirt

As my brother knelt on his knees in guilt

Quicksand fastened his voice

Leaving me to scream, how did he die?

Suffocating my hold on the phone 

He said, in his sleep sis, how could he just leave us!!?

We both burn with anger upon the very shoulders,

That resembles my father

I stood in shock; disbeliefe hit like a pinball machine in my stomach

Bouncing around, never stopping the chiming ring of hurt

The voice of my father disturbs me deeply

Every time I talk to my brother

AFTER:

Father forgive me for I have sinned

I did not take care of him

The weight of my father's flesh

Rests in my brother hold but not mine

Nor is that smile, which once touched my father laugh

I gave a kiss to my daddy but it was placed by my brother lips

I couldn't save my hero

As he lye skinny as a rail

He died the same way my uncle did a month ago

Which haunts my brother to the end

For he was the one who found them

AFTER:

Do I have the courage to face my father's ghost?

Will I shake these tears of guilt?

Is my dad in a better place?

So many questions have been left unanswered

How will I sleep at night now?

As my dad once said to me before he passed

“Do not cry for me”

“Don’t stop living because I did”

“Don’t feel guilty when I'm gone”

NOW:

Do I have the courage to listen to his words?

As sorrow spirals out of control

Will my brother have the courage?

I ask God to let my father rest in peace,

My father loved the ocean breeze

He loved us and I will forever more be so bless,

To have him as a dad and a father

Daddy I now live to tell your story

To my kids, great grand kids and their children

We love you daddy

We shall meet again in heaven

Author's Note

To my father, my hero. Thank you for those who read and commented!

much love n respect
Anna

Reviews

[Arthur Henn]

This is beautiful in every word and fashion of love that you show in the words you have written Ann.

Your Dad is proud of you, your Dad hears the words of this poem you have written him. He is in a better place and still to this day and hour holds you in the heart of your soul, Dad has not left you.

(((Anna)))

[Stanley R. Teater]

I just finished reading your poetry and enjoyed it very much - especially "A Daughter's Courage". I found it especially moving because I am a father with three daughters. The oldest is your age, two others are 16 and 17. They are all adopted foster children. Daughters can be quite a challenge for a dad. There have been good days... and bad days. Fortunately, the good days far outweigh the bad. I suspect your father was very proud of you.

[larryb]

Great write ANNA its been a long long time, I missed you and your writing...I hope all is well :)

[Blue Sky]

Very excellently worded, kept the reader there right to the end, emotions wrapped around every word. The love you have/had for your father clearly depicted in this very beautiful piece of work! Excellently written!

[Shivi]

This sounds like a true tribute to a dad from a daughter! Loved it thoroughly.

[TL Boehm]

I lost my dad in 09 to emphysema. I had a hard time reading this without tearing up but it is beautiful and eloquent and thank you to Arthur Henn for sending it my way.

[Seriana]

What a loving tribute to your father and his legacy. It looks like you inherited something wonderful and through you, he shall live. Lovingly heartfelt and penned with such raw emotion. I could feel everything you felt.

[laceyjane23]

very beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes and put a lump in my throat. It made me think about the passing of my own father. I am sorry for your loss Anna, please keep writing it is great therapy :)

[fireblossom]

Beautiful tribute dear Anna. As the father of a young woman let me say that I was moved by your suffering and questioning. It showed true love and devotion. Know that we daddy's feel that love over time and distance and even the division life brings as a right of passage.

Love to you dear Anna, good heart daughter. From this surviving father to you.

[Kyle]

This is incredibly sweet.......