Emotions fall asleep

A new found emotion falls asleep

From patiently waiting for that ultimate surprise

To awake the eyes of a broken heart

One must sacrifice love in the pouring rain

Without an umbrella, the pocket of tears remain stale   

Out on the battlefield with no metal shield

Risking an open wound as it bleeds profoundly

The fiction of pain screams for affection  

It’s plain to see this hurricane love is consumed by a wormhole  

Captivating the blackness of isolation    

Wrapping it around the Rubik cube for attention

A lover excuse placed in a suffocating illusion   

Sketched into a fatal decision with no romance

A new found emotion wrestles with the paper work of relationships

Makes out under the stars on top of a car

So blue dreams replace reality battery      

Shocking the heart it becomes one with the universe

The remarkable warmth chills on the front porch

Trying to edit the difficult lies one is forced to believe             

 This wasn't the original plan in the beginning

Love shouldn’t have been the object to a succulent fruit

Passion has been plucked off like a scab

 Pled down like a ripe orange

A new found emotion faces chance

Becomes the liability without the insurance  

Author's Note

Not about me...Just love write and being creative with words..Thanks for reading!

Much love

Reviews

[Legion]

A few typos chica. Like "become" should be "becomes", "edited" should be "edit", and "force" should be "forced". Other than that, it reads as a dark piece about love gone wrong. Very good progression. I especially liked the "sacrificing love in the pouring rain without an umbrella" line. Great analogy. Well done overall. Kudos.

[Spoken]

Powerful words you really know how to use them! Great piece!

[Sarah]

Such unique images here! Really great, definitely creative ~~

[Bennett Logan]

Ah, the loss of love. Very powerful, awful feeling. I think you captured the emotion nicely. I also like the sleepy/dreamy tone of the language throughout. It reminds me of the listlessness that occurs as a result of an emotionally traumatic event. As pointed out in an earlier review, "To awake the eyes of a broken heart/One must sacrifice love in the pouring rain/Without an umbrella, the pocket of tears remain stale" may be the strongest lines in the poem. They're extremely visual and, if anything, I'm left wanting to read more. This is an awesome poem! It may be my favorite of yours yet. Really well done. Thanks for sending it my way!

[SM Davis]

awake should be awaken or wake....lover's excuse... instead of lover excuse. Otherwise, in addition to what Legion said below. The imagery is nice.

[Jeff Bresee]

Not many 'love' poems hold my attention, but this one did. Nice feeling, nice work (although dido on the typos listed below by Legion)

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Amazing poem. I can feel the emotion, great metaphors, sharp ideas. I always loved your style, thanks Anna.

Kena SunGoddess Dawn

[Tina Kline]

This is dark and rather sad but an excellent 'love gone bad' poem. You use great imagery in this. Very creative and well done.