too many chances, too late

Damn, i really fucked up this time didn't I?

I told you so many things, I shouldn't have lied

Now I'm just a typical girl

Those words put fear in "I"

All of the things I would do just to hold you overnight 

And now the memory of us just fades away

Like a black shirt in the sun everyday 

You and I, we could have made it babe

But the thing is, I was just a little too late

All of those chances you gave me, went to waste

Now I'm just a girl without a face

Because without you babe, I have no identity 

Without Gonzalo there is no Mercedes C.

There is no moon to my nights

There is no sun to my days

There is no comfort to my cries 

Damn, i really fucked up this time didn't I?

 

Author's Note

i take all constructive criticism

Reviews

[Androglossia]

Raw emotion in a very premeditated fashion. I can see the drama ubfolding in front of me. Thank God, my days with it were over and was able to get out of it alive:) Lying is a human nature, no one can get away with it. We tell, we lie. What is important is our anticipation of the possible results.

What I like about the piece is the irony of it. It's confession of a lie.

Strong points:
I love the way you use the typical form of language. Its simplicity and loosely defined structure made it easy to follow.

[Mercedes Sanchez]

thank you so much, i really tried to make it easy for everyone to be able to get what was going on without making the poem to complicated

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

You are just Honest and that is wonderful ... we all do mistakes

[Autumn]

Great poem, that really shows your feelings. It's deep and truthful, it gives to the piece. Although i'm not sure i would write names in it, i think it cuts the flow of the poem. Nevertheless very good writing!

[Mercedes Sanchez]

thank you very much, you know im glad you told me that about the names because i actually debated on putting names in it

[Autumn]

You're welcome! I think in a poem when we put names it's harder for other people to relate to it, it closes the imagination, i think.

[Mercedes Sanchez]

yeah i can definitely see your point on that

[Josh]

Every diamond starts off as an uncut and unpolished stone. I think you are headed down the right track. The open and close remaining the same line sets this writing style apart from the rest and opens the door to many possibilities.

[Fabio_Cassilias]

Sometimes u only get one chance when it's infront of you.

i can relate to it and it's very good piece of writing.
keep up the good work.