this is great. I love how naturally this poem rhymes in the first stanza. The only thing I dislike about the last one is how out of place "until you're not near" seems to be. There is a very comforting, yet sad rejection and I feel like that last line gives it away too much. Maybe something more like "So I hide away / with comforting tears."
I intended simply to deliver a perfunctory review, after you reviewd my work. I was pleasantly surprised. A rarity. Though personally I find it best that the gentleman remove himself, rather than the lady. You have actually suceeded in a small work in a clever summation of the argumentitive experience. A very well written and clever work.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you for reviewing. :) This poem is actually about me and my mom. I was not very clear about th.. read moreThank you for reviewing. :) This poem is actually about me and my mom. I was not very clear about that though. Thank you again for reviewing, I am happy you enjoyed it!!
****Please review some of my works if you're going to send me a friend request, I will return the favor. Thanks!! :)
I write mostly poetry, but I do have a book of short stories (it's literally cal.. more..