this is great. I love how naturally this poem rhymes in the first stanza. The only thing I dislike about the last one is how out of place "until you're not near" seems to be. There is a very comforting, yet sad rejection and I feel like that last line gives it away too much. Maybe something more like "So I hide away / with comforting tears."
This is simple, concise and yet still packed with quite a bit of emotion. So often we see these types of interactions between people, and then usually end up the same way...self destruction. I think this was pretty well done; didn't need a lot of imagery or overwrought articulation to get the point across. Well done.
loved it indeed, loved your starting...Comfort food
Comfort place
Leave me alone
Give me space.
nice stanza, i love to read or write short poems, very nice...beautiful.
We just don't get along most of the time. :/ We're both also passive aggressive... :P Thanks for rea.. read moreWe just don't get along most of the time. :/ We're both also passive aggressive... :P Thanks for reading!!
****Please review some of my works if you're going to send me a friend request, I will return the favor. Thanks!! :)
I write mostly poetry, but I do have a book of short stories (it's literally cal.. more..