Letting go of Life

Life seems to pass us by if we don't look hard enough.

I say that I'm fine, but really I'm not.

Most days, I only feel like I've been shot.

In my stomach, I can feel this knot.

Thrashing around as it begins to rot.

I look around me and I wonder,

How is no one else filled with this anger?

Can things go back to the way they were?

When life only felt like it was a blur. 

Stark images invade my vision.

I'm walking into an unknown haven.

Spinning in a dress in the warm sun.

Everything was fine till you pulled the gun.

Grief wrapped around my frozen heart beat.

I slowly began to feel my defeat.

Nothing had tasted so bittersweet.

I walked over to death and took my seat.

Author's Note

Okay, so I did (10-9-10-9) but I don't know if you guys like it at all.
thoughts on this?

Reviews

[Josh Dollar]

Hey, I must say this is a very good piece. For the past half hour I've been reading poems on this website, and yours, this one above, is the first one that's truly made me slow down to read it and more importantly made me feel real emotion. The rhythm of this is really good, I think. It begs to be read aloud.

[Madilyn]

Thanks you so much! That means a lot!

[E.R Parker]

Like I tell everyone. I am not a professional but I loved it. The message is quite chilling but chilling is my thing. Good Job!

[Madilyn]

Thank you so much!

[emipoemi]

For starters, the syllable count is not your prime concern with regards to writing poetry. A poem could begin with six syllables followed by nine in the next line, as long as the musicality flows seamlessly, you're good. The musicality of this is great for the most part. Not entirely seamless, but it does get an A from this poet/critic. And that's the only critique I have on it. The rest is all fantastic: imagery, message, every line has good energy and power right down to the last line where it hammers it all home. Well freaking done!

[Madilyn]

Oh my goodness! Really? I didn't think it was that good but coming from you I must have done something right. Thank you so much!

[emipoemi]

You're very welcome.