Stars

"Be clearly aware of the stars, and infinity on high, then life seems almost enchanted after all." ~Vincent Van Gogh

The crickets were always the first thing to register to her ears on nights like these. When everything was still and peaceful, and her head was lying in the cold dewey grass, she would let her mind wander until she heard it. Soft at first, just a slight shift in the seemingly silent night. She would focus, close her eyes for a few minutes, letting the sound grow louder, until her ears started recognizing more nighttime chitterings. An owl hooting somewhere off to her right. A loud car horn from the sleepless city miles away. When she would finally open her eyes, she would finally notice the abundance of stars splashed across the dark sky. Some would pulse with energy, bright and strong, while other stars tended to keep to themselves and stayed dim. "Shy stars," she would always call them.

Tonight was different though. She layed in the grass, but she wasn't alone. He layed next to her, intertwining his fingers with hers curiously. She smiled and moved herself closer to him, so her head was on his chest, rising in falling with his deep breathing. Tonight, the first sound that registered was his heartbeat. Slow and steady, deep, pulsing. Every few minutes he would make a sound deep in his throat, but only for the shortest second. Almost like he was humming, strands of melodies dancing around in the back of his mind, sliding their way into his vocal chords, just barely escaping before he would swallow and let out a chuckle, willingly.

Tonight, the crickets didn't register in her ears. She could only hear his heartbeat. Well, that and the sound of her own racing heart. He released her hand slowly, sliding it under her side and onto her back. She smiled and leaned in again, closer, her body fitting into his side a little awkwardly, but comfortably. His hand rested on her shoulder blade, his feather light touch hardly noticeable. She sighed and turned her head to the side, returning her gaze to the stars.

For a while they sat like that, suspended in time, letting the minutes tick by in comfortable silence. She's not sure when it happens, but she soon feels his fingertips brushing along her spine, down her sides, into the small of her back. He stops there, rubbing his fingers in small, gentle circles. She made a small noise, melting closer into him, if it were even possible. Her head turned to face his chest, and she could see the small strands of fabric that held his old sweater together. She began counting his breaths, timing each intake of air. 5 seconds in. 6 seconds out. 3 seconds in. 5 seconds out.

He began humming, so quietly that she wouldn't have heard it if not for the vibrations in his chest. She closed her eyes listening to whatever song he was humming.

She let the melody sink into her subconscious.

Wise men say, only fools rush in.

Chills traveled through her body. Her eyes closed and she smiled against his chest, and his hand made a trail back up her spine.

But I, can't, help.

She put her hand on his chest, next to her head, and his other hand intertwined with hers again.

Falling in love,

With,

She finally let the sleep that had been clawing at her mind get to her, letting her eyelids grow heavy and her heartbeat to slow down.

You.

--

She wasn't sure how long he had stayed outside with her, but she knew it was more than a few minutes until he slid his hand under her knees and carried her inside. Everything looked fuzzy and awkward, but she knew it was only from sleep.

She opened one eye and looked up, only to see him watching her as he made a slow decent up the stairs.

When he saw her open her eyes, he sighed slightly, looking guilty. He apologized for waking her up, and he tried to be quiet and gentle, but he wasn't good at it. She raised her hands, fumbling a little, and slid them around his neck, thumbs moving back and forth, feeling the small hairs that stood at his hairline. She looked at him for a minute, eyes searching his for anything, for anything, letting him look back into hers.

She raised her lips to meet his and he quickly lowered his head so she could reach easier. His lips were soft, like always, and his kisses were feather light, like the rest of him. All of his actions were gentle, she noticed. His voice was always soft, his laugh sweet and airy, his smile kind, his hand movements steady, his expression relaxed. His touch was graceful, light, always in the right places. He liked to have contact with something at all times, he could never sit still, his fingers tapping unintelligible beats across his hands, across his lap, across her palms. He was touching, always tapping, always moving. His energy pulsated through everyone he came in contact with.

Eventually they were upstairs, and she had melted into him again, so he lowered her body onto the bed. She slid the covers over herself and pulled them down on his side of the bed. He stripped off his jeans and she shimmied out of hers under the sheets and kicked them off the side of the bed.

He slid under the covers and pulled her body towards him again, too tired to put pajama pants on. She looked up at him, eyelids heavy, as he placed a gentle kiss on her nose. She smiled and returned her head to his chest, and he ghosted his own fingers over her neck, her jaw, her shoulder, her collarbone. She sighed, and he kept moving his hands, his fingers finding a home on her side. He told her she was beautiful. She didn't believe him.

He told her again. He kissed her cheek.

He told her again. He kissed her forehead.

He told her again. He kissed her lips.

He told her in every way possible, his fingers gently moving to her jawline to lift her lips closer to him. His hands held her face, his thumb working in small circles again. He paused, breaking away to look at her. She looked up at him, sleepy but more awake than ever. He stared into her eyes for a while, and she almost felt uncomfortable, not saying anything, but she held his gaze anyway.

He told her again, one last time, with a soft, barely there kiss to her temple.

She smiled, repeating what he had told her. She rested her head against chest, and his arms circled her body once again. She drifted off to sleep, listening to the unintelligible beats of his fluttering heart.